residwnt parwnt wants video calls during contact.

@warwickshire1

I have never refused my ex video calls, like you mentioned the offer to my ex was that if our daughter wanted to talk then I would call as I would never deprive our daughter of speaking to her mum if she wanted to but my ex then takes that as she won't get video calls at all and runs to her solicitor. I don't see why our daughter should be forced to participate in video calls with anyone if she isn't interested especially when the little one gets agitated, upset, crabbit. It causes conflict when the little one then says things like I don't want to talk to you etc, I understand as a parent hearing your child say things like that can be upsetting but our daughter doesn't really understand and it then leads to conflict as the ex blames me for it. 

@bill337

Thanks Bill

I will just ignore the lawyers letter then as I really don't need the drama. I have offered video calls and the ex refused them because it wasn't down to her liking

@warwickshire1

Thank you.

This is exactly what I will be doing. The less I need to deal with my ex after the past couple of weeks or get dragged into the drama the better.

@bill337

This has been an ongoing thing since the beginning, it just got worse once we split.

I eventually deleted my social media profiles because my ex partner was constantly spying and checking up on me, going through friends profiles etc that weren't set to private to find out where I was, had been and who I spoke to etc even my youtube profile if I liked or commented on videos, changed profile pictures etc she knew about it. Dedication or what lol

As its causing so much conflict then yes best to not  engage with ex and ignore letters from her solicitor.

You have many examples of your ex harassing you and where conflict has arisen. A lot of it is when you  communicate directly with her. Maybe it is time to stop communicating with her and move to a contact book or app or just email each other with an update upon handover and leave it at that to reduce conflict..

@daddy-up

Thanks for the reply Daddy-up.

I honestly thought by trying to be civil for our daughters sake and allowing my ex to communicate over WhatsApp and through texts that things would have eventually got better but I was clearly wrong. The whole point of communicating with my ex was supposed to be for our daughter regarding her wellbeing. 

What do you mean by contact book or app ?

@sparky101 IGNORE SOLCITORS LETTERS!!! Sorry absolute nonsense

@sparky101  contact book is a paper diary/note book. you just write messages in there and pass book from your house to ex house. App is another way of communicating.

As Bill says, when you collect daughter your ex should hand you a contact book (I believe there are formats out there but others may be able to advise), with any recent updates that you should know about eg diet, medical related, school etc... then when you drop her back off you hand it back over doing the same.  The benefits of this rather than email is that updates should be child focused and also you only get them at handover and not any other time.

@warwickshire1

Hi Warwickshire1, thanks for the reply.

Ignoring the lawyers letter is what I'm intending to do, I just didn't know at the time if it was a wise choice but after being told to ignore in several replies that's what I will be doing.

What's absolute nonsense ?

@bill337

Hi Bill, thanks for explaining what a contact book is.

If I'm being honest, something like this should have been suggested a long time ago either through mediation, contact centre, solicitors or court as this would have saved a lot of agro in the past but still allowed important messages regarding our daughter to have been passed on.

@daddy-up

Such a great idea, especially in regards to a complete breakdown of communication between parents.