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Hi, Pretty difficult situation I have here and looking for any help / advice possible.
So my ex's dad and step mum have a residency order with there names on for my daughter (who is 8) The mother of the child unfortunately had some difficulties in life and is now left mentally unable to look after a child on her own.
The issue is that the dad and step mum are breaking up. Everyone got together to discuss arrangements for my daughter. We all agreed that she should talk independently at school about where she wants to live and take it from there. That happened and my daughter said she wants to live with me which i have no problem with and would be happy to do! (I have been a regular part of her life since she was 3 - after the residency order was made) Now the ex's dad is suddenly changed and turns out he had no plan to let this happen in the first place. He has essentially, without saying the words, said he is going to do all he can to stop me having her.
We believe that he is doing it because he wants the extra money that he gets for having my daughter and that is the reason.
Now I do not know where I stand in terms of the residency order especially now they are breaking up so any help would be appreciated.
Hi there
A lot depends on how old your daughter is, as to whether her wishes and feelings would be taken on board by the family court.
How are the school handling this situation? Are they aware that your daughters grandad has changed his mind? It would be a good idea to discuss this with them, if you haven’t already.
I don’t think their split would have too big an impacton the existing order, unless there were issues. However, if it’s the case that the step mum did most of the parenting for instance, that might be something that should be looked at more closely.
Your first step would be to attempt mediation with the Grandad, to try and reach agreement. If this fails, the mediator would sign the form to enable you to make an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order to have your daughter live with you.
If she is 12-13 then she is likely to be listened to more strongly and if as I said before, there are any issues with the Grandads care, you would also share that with the court.
The fact that you had discussed arrangements as a family and reached agreement, that was acted on with the school, would be something that you should also mention.
There are no guarantees that you would be successful, but if your daughter is old enough to Be listened to you stand a fair chance.
All the best
Hi thanks for the reply!
So my daughter is 8 years old which I'm not sure will mean they listen to her. But we have spoken to the school and they have spoken to my daughter individually and came back with "she wants the chance to live with her dad so she can tell friends she lives with her dad and have a normal family life"
I think mediation will be the way forward. Thank you for your help
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