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looking for some advice.
I am having issues with my ex (well more her husband). we have been split up for 10 years but now i am having problems with them allowing my son to stay with me overnight, go on holidays ...etc. they believe there are issues with him when he comes back home, personally i think it is more the change in environment that effects him rather than anything that happens when he has stayed with me.
i am married, no other kids, live in a good house in a good area, very normal and all things are great. yet this issue has surfaced.
i have tried to approach it with them and all i am getting is aggressive responses from the ex's husband.
all i am looking for is fair access, a weekend a month or so, and the opportunity to take my 12 YO son on holidays in the summer.
looking at the court options seems my only last course of action ...any advice?
Hi RB, seems a variation on a constant theme on here unfortunately, the deliberate blocking of seeing your child based on spite rather than your sons welfare.
In England, if that's where you are, mediation is compulsory prior to raising court action. If you go and see a mediator and they write to your ex partner offering mediation, if she goes great and you see where it takes you. If you go to mediation and cannot agree then you can raise a court action. Also if she ignores the request, you can raise a court action as well. You just cant do it without having offered mediation if that makes sense.
What you are requesting is very reasonable. If you do go to mediation/court, I would be requesting more than once a month, at least every alternate weekend.
Others on here will be more expert than me but i'm pretty sure a 12 year olds view would be taken into account as well in court if your son wants to see you more often which I expect he does.
I hope that helps you a little and good luck.
Hi RB, brokendad has given you excellent advice there. At 12 years old, your son's wishes will certainly be taken into account.
It's hard for kids to change between environments as you have pointed out, unfortunately, a lot of parents fail to recognise this. My two are 14 & 17, and I've been apart from their Dad for 11 years. They have frequently been unsettled before and after their time with him, sometimes not wanting to go but I also know they have often not wanted to come back to me as they'd just got settled at his.
Mediation is indeed compulsory before applying to court and if your ex is willing to attend, might be the best way forward as court can sour any goodwill that exists between you.
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