[Solved] Ready to walk away......

I have had enough, and I am ready to give up. Here is why.

My relationship with my wife deteriorated to an intolerable degree, especially between April and October 2017, mainly due to what has been professionally judged as her emotional neglect.
She has never had any emotional intelligence, is especially neglectful of my position as her partner, and although we have been married for 10 years, and lived together 5 years before that. We have slept in separate beds for 9 years since our daughter was born, my wife preferring to sleep with my daughter, and they went to bed at about 8pm each night. Basically she changed as soon as we had the baby. I stuck by her.

I was fortunate enough to retire at a young age, having worked long hours and built a successful business. After our daughter was born, I elected to "retire", become a house husband in 2008, while she continued in a job she enjoyed, and I looked after my daughter from 7 am until 6 pm when my wife got back from work, and have done until October 2017.

Prior to October 2017, I had started to push my wife to sort our relationship out, even going to counselling if necessary. She wouldn't even discuss it.

The pressure got to me I'm afraid and the increasing frustration led to me having what is termed in modern times as an "adjustment disorder" - basically a build of of psychological pressure resulting in a meltdown, or in old terminology, a nervous breakdown, which was however adjudged as relatively minor. An adjustment disorder occurs when extreme life events and pressures result in a reaction such as I had, as do many others when for example, bereaved.

My wife actually had me sectioned I was in such a bad state, but after a few days of being analysed, the docs in the psych ward told me that in spite of the 28 day section, they were sending me home after 5 days as basically, there wasn't much wrong with me, I was just sad and upset with the domestic situation and having explained to them the build up to the meltdown, they were hardly surprised at my reaction to the situation.

And yes, you guessed it. When I got back home, it had been stripped of a lot of items and she had moved out, taken my daughter, and moved into another house we owned and had previously rented out. The tenant had vacated a few months before so it appears this had all been planned.

So instead of being a full time father, she now looked upon me as free child care. I only saw my daughter for 2 hours a day, 3 days a week after school. I objected to this and after a few months of being subjected to deprivation of access, and having previously been a full time Dad, I told her I was applying for a child arrangement order, although I was quite happy for my daughter to live with he mother full time, I needed to be more involved as a father, and return to previous access arrangements. After all, her school is only 100 yards from my home, and it would have made sense for her mother to drop her off here for breakfast at 7 am etc, instead of dropping her off at various places of convenience, some miles away, and then asking other parents to take my daughter to school, and look after her until she finished work. That is all I wanted, an extra hour or each morning in addition to the after school hours until her mother came home from school.

Then the solicitors got involved (her choice, not mine) and the parental alienation also started.

Firstly, the non-molestation order. Then, as most know, once the non-molestation order is in place, the woman (in this case) gets free legal representation for everything relative to the process. Me, as the respondent, has to cover all costs personally.

Then the arrest because I accidentally included my wife's email address in an email to her solicitor and broke the non molestation order. Nothing abusive or malicious involved, just trying to make contact arrangements.

Then the criminal charges and subsequent criminal record after the magistrates court hearing.

Then the c100 application to prevent me contacting my daughter and waiting 2 months for the first hearing, and as I found out yesterday, another 4 months until the next hearing after Cafcass have prepared their report. They have allowed me to send a letter once a month to my daughter via my wife's solicitors. How is that encouraging a relationship with the non resident parent?

I have had an initial telephone conversation with Cafcass who have advised that even after the second hearing (the section 7), and my daughter doesn't want to see me, there is nothing they can do about it. Wills and wishes of the child, they call it.My daughter, who is totally brainwashed now with parental alienation gathering speed (I found this out via her mother's friend) has said she doesn't want to see me anymore anyway.

I have no income, having been the full time parent/house husband. I have been told as my daughter lives with her mother, I can't claim spousal support. Therefore I can't afford a solicitor.

My mother has volunteered to pay for a private child psychologist to assess the matter, rather than trust Cafcass. Is this possible? How do I go about it?

My wife is now also adopting the old chestnut of me abusing alcohol, mental health problems, and my behaviour towards her. None of which is true of course.

I've had enough. Court appearances, abusive and harassing behaviour from her via her solicitor. Deprivation of access to my child. Need I go on? And it will take at least until October until the next hearing.

Sometimes, I think you have to consider yourself. The whole thing is having a detrimental effect on my health. Enough is enough. I have written evidence from Doctors and professionals to prove I am a fit and proper father. It appears not to matter.

The whole system is unfit for purpose, and that is why, some good fathers, like me, just have to walk away.