Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello, I am new to this and not sure if this post is in the right category, hope it is as it’s to do with re starting contact with my children. To put you in the picture over 18 months ago my ex told me I was no longer allowed to telephone the children and has since stopped answering the phone to me, I live a long way from them and it’s difficult to see them, I haven’t seen them or spoken to them for 18 months and I am desperate to see them and maintain a relationship with them, but as the months and now years have passed I am actually now afraid of the best way to contact my ex and ask her if I can have contact, and although I really love my children and want to see them it is actually easier to put off the approach that is needed to do this through my ex, and this sometimes make me doubt if I am in fact good enough to be a father, I am just looking for some support and advice from someone who may know what he best thing to do is either through experience or professional training.
Thank you
Hi there
If you’ve read through previous threads here, it might help you see that this is more common that you’d think. The children have a right to have a relationship with both parents, of course you’re good enough to be their father... you just haven’t been in the right place to push it forward. You may have to jump through a few extra hoops to achieve contact, but it can be done.
When the mother told you that you could no longer have contact, was that out of the blue, or was there a reason given, or anything that precipitated her decision?
Is there a court order for contact in place? How old are your children?
Have you tried writing to her? That could be your first step and depending on her response, or lack of, your next step would be mediation, but with the distance between you that might prove difficult.
I would try contacting a mediator in the area where she lives and asking them, in light of the distance, if they would be prepared to sign off the form, to enable you to make an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order... but try writing to her first.
Court is daunting but doable, it would also have to be a court in her area, but we have had many members that have managed to Go through the process with much success. It’s always better to have a solicitor, but manageable without legal representation too.
Best of luck
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.