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Hi there I'm new to this so please bear with me its quite a long story but I will try to keep it as short as possible.
My ex wife and I where in court at the end of January 2009 as I was applying for a contact order for my son who is 6 years old, as she had stopped access for various of reasons all of which are lies. I was granted a contact order by the judge that I have staying contact and half holidays and phone conversation each week etc.
I have never once faltered on this order and travel the 200 mile round trip to pick up and drop of my son. My ex wife is a very irrational, abusive person and this summer when I had my son for 3weeks I spoke to my ex wife regarding the possibility of me going back to court to vary the terms of the order as since it was issued she has moved even further away and makes the journey longer. So I was proposing I pick my child up earlier in order to make the journey easier for my child. She then went mad saying that if I took her back to court before Christmas she would make my life [censored] by stopping me seeing my child. Since I returned my son to his mum at the end of the summer I have had no contact either phone or visits due to the fact my ex is now making up more lies saying I neglect my child and hes scared of me and doesn't want to see me. Shes also make up lies regarding his health care and schooling when I have proof from his doctors and school to make her out to be the liar she is!! I'm so worried that in the time I haven't spoken or seen my son that he is being brainwashed and she has turned him against me. I cant trust a thing she says and every time me have a difference of opinion she uses my child as a weapon that if i don't do or think the way she wants she stops or makes contact very difficult. I know that both her and her partner have both been arrested for violence against each other, and worry about my child. I have now applied to the court for a variation in the order and am waiting for a court date. I'm just worried that when it does back to court the judge will believe her lies. Can she be allowed to break the court order unless she has proof my son is in danger with me? or will the judge just go on her say so? I'm scared of losing my son and starting to get disillusioned of the court process what right does she have to do this the judge has already decided it is in my child best interest to have regular contact with me! If anyone could give me some advice I would really appreciate that.
If there is a history of violence in the household, I would contact social services immediately.
As for the court believing your ex - the courts are very good at seeing through false stories, and it is quite likely that Cafcass will become involved. I'd certainly bring up the arrests as part of your concerns - it will certainly give the judges a measure of their character. In the circumstances, I'd be considering in going for a residence order, not just varying the contact order.
I would suggest that this post is better in the 'Legal Eagle' section, and hopefully the Childrens Legal Centre can advise you in more detail.
Hi Matt,
Welcome to the forum. I have moved this thread onto our legal eagle board and have asked our legal partners, The Childrens Legal Centre, to have a look and respond to you questions. It might take a couple of days so keep checking back and keep us posted.
Regards
Gooner
Dear Matt188,
Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre, an independent charity concerned with law and policy affecting children and young people.
If you believe that there has been violence in the mother’s household you are able to report this to social services. If the police have been involved in these incidents then they should have already reported these matters as there was a child present, and the social services should have made a decision as to whether or not their involvement was required.
You are correct that if there is a court order in place your ex wife should not be stopping the contact without applying back to court herself, and even in those circumstances she should have very good reasons for doing this.
When the matter goes back to court, any allegations the mother wishes to make should be heard, however the court will weigh her allegations on the balance of probabilities and consider any evidence the mother puts to them and would decide whether any allegations are founded.
The courts are very much in favour of contact, and it is rare that contact is not granted, even if the other parent is not happy with this. Since the court have already granted you contact they obviously believe that this is in the best interests of your son and would usually continue to think this without some serious evidence to alter that view.
If the court believes that the mother has been breaching the contact order without good reason, they are able to penalise her if they feel it is appropriate to do so.
We hope that this information is useful to you. Should you require further advice please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help.
Kind Regards
Children’s Legal Centre
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