Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I have regular contact with both my children and have recently moved within a 3 mile radius to be closer to them, however, my ex-wife keeps asking for my address which I am very hesitant on providing and was wondering if I have a legal obligation to do so and whether she can refuse me access?
She has been very abusive towards me in the past and has, on no grounds, refused me access when I am scheduled to as well as threatening me with the children, despite having a contact order in place.
With the contact order in place my maintenance payments have been reduced however she is on the understanding that it was only down to her acceptance and conditions set i.e. me providing her with my address. CSA have denied that they do not form agreements and the reduction is due to the level of contact I have.
In the past I have received phone calls with death threats that I reported to the police. I cannot make any unsupported accusations but have strong reason to believe it was her boyfriend.
Every time I collect the children from my ex-wife, she is very aggressive towards me, commanding and very sour - picking up my children should be an enjoyable experience and free from all of this.
I fear that in giving her my address she will be making un-expecting visits which I do not want and will cause stress on my partner who is pregnant. Such visits will be for items that perhaps the children have forgotten to return or bring with them, but I fear it will be for any excuse to cause unnecessary trouble.
I also fear that by not providing my address she will refuse further access as she has done before. She knows that I live in the neighbouring town and we have mobiles should any emergency arise.
I do not know if it’s a legal requirement because if it was then the court wouldn’t have a seek and find order for parents trying to locate their children if parents had to supply each other with address that’s my thoughts on it.... ex’s hey !
My ex was a nightmare when she found out my wife was expecting even calling the hospital when my wife was in labour ...nightmare so i totally understand your need to keep things separated,
In the past I have received phone calls with death threats that I reported to the police. I cannot make any unsupported accusations but have strong reason to believe it was her boyfriend.
I fear that in giving her my address she will be making un-expecting visits which I do not want and will cause stress on my partner who is pregnant. Such visits will be for items that perhaps the children have forgotten to return or bring with them, but I fear it will be for any excuse to cause unnecessary trouble.
I also fear that by not providing my address she will refuse further access as she has done before. She knows that I live in the neighbouring town and we have mobiles should any emergency arise.
For reasons above, I would withhold disclosing your address. Ex has your mobile number & that should suffice for contact.
Given your partner's condition - I would keep to that stance.
If ex withholds access to children - you may have to go to court...there is a fine balance you need to keep.
Good Luck & Stay Strong.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.