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[Hide]Hi as you know I have been keen to apply for custody of my 5 year old son.
I am now 100% I am going to do this as I have to try for his sake and no I have done my best.
Once I submit the application what is the process, 1st hearing, cafcass etc. I have read something that mentioned evidance.
My reasons for applying are:
My 5 year old son has told me and family members he wants to live with me and my partner of 5 years. -he has done this on sooo many occasions.
My son has told me he asked his mother if he could live with me. Her response to him was "no, I can't stand them ugly rats." He also disclosed to me "Mum said she wants dad to die" and "She was crying at the table and said to me you dont love me do you"
My sons school is failing him, my ex chose this school as her friend is able to take my son to school for free. He is under national curriculum level and mother has not done anything to help this. I have however and had numerous meetings with school. I was never happy witth this school choice! and offered to pay on top of my csa money for a childminder so he is able to go to a better school.-If he were to live with me I would be changing his schools. (which i know prob would bee seen as a negative)
I have tried to encourage after school activities such as karate and football, and offered to pay. She has not followed this up and refuses for me to take him if it is not on my days of contact.
She is 4 months pregnant- This is an issue as she has an older child of 8 years old, who she has no contact with. She told me she had post natal depression this was the reason for not seeing in from the age of 2!. But there was no evidance of this. When she gave up seeing her eldest son this was when my son was born and I could clearly see she could not cope.
Because of this history I am seriously worried for my son and his welfare when the new baby arrives...due to what I have seen in the past.
I have logged many incidents over the past few years where she has made my life difficult, such as not letting me see my son, refusing to come and collect him as she can not get to me. Telling me I am a "fu*c*ing selfish **** as I could not have my son for 2 weeks whilst she had a small op"-Although I had him on other occasions for 2 week periods twice in one year. (I dont get endless A/L)
At one point she moved into a flat share with 2 males and she was sharing a bedroom with a 5 year old for 8 months.-He went from a 2 bed house. I offered to care for him this period.
I was concerened about his weight at one point, and mentioned this to her. she said "o well I was skinny he is fine." I went to the docotors about this. he also has quite bad exczma and I have been to docs numerous times to get creams. She has not once applied cream to him at her house.
She took him to watch her pole dance lesson.
She continually states to my son lies about me.
From what my son tells me and from her, they do not doo much. He knows channel 4 tv listing from 3.30pm onwards!!!-tells me alot.
She is a compulsive liar! Although I can not prove this but have a gut feeling when she told me she was having "serious operations" over the period of a year they were minor as she was seen out and about. -can i request proof of these operations?
Do I have grounds to apply? I am so worried as how do I go about prooving this as they will ask me too wont they??? I have documented stuff but thats just my word....
I also work 6 days on 4 days off. But 4 out of 6 of them shifts I can take my son to school and collect him. My partner of 5 years works 9-5.30 weekdays so will need a childminder.-is this against me?
I have strong family support and live next door to my mum.
Please advise???Many Thanks[/hide]
[Hide]
Hi
I think it's going to be a hard battle, but I'm sure you're already aware of this.
I think it would be worth you having a word with the CCLC, or we can ask them to pop by if you'd prefer, though the number of points you raise would probably initially be best being dealt with in a phone call.
I think that what she has said about you forms a background to the rest of your points rather than being an issue in itself, but the phsycal and emotional wellbeing of your son is the most important thing to go to court for.
A couple of other points - I don't see that having to use a childminder would count against you, the courts don't expect 24 hour availability, you shift patterns mean you will have quality time for your son, which is important. As for your ex's minor operations, you can't ask for proof, but I believe the court can - I'm not sure if your ex can refuse to consent, but if she does, that in itself would not look good for her. Again, its worth checking this out with CCLC as I'm not completely certain about my facts here. [/hide]
Thanks for your response and I have contacted them..
I am attempting to make the application and although I no the reasoning for making the application needs to be brief I want to make sure it does not get thrown out.
Comments and advice on the following would be appreciated.
[hide]I am Making the application as I having growing concerns about my sons physical and emotional welfare whilst he spends more of his time with the respondent. My son has disclosed statements to me that his mother has told Him. These statements have been innapropiate and harmful to his emotional state.  The respondent is now pregnant and this concerns me greatly due to the following:  My son has been made aware he has a brother who him and his mother have no contact with. Cafcass advised the respondent to seek support for him for this but it has not been followed up. The respondent stopped having contact with her other son when M was Born due to her stating she had post natal depression with her elder son. But to my knowledge there was no medical evidence for this as no notes indicated this may be a concern when M was born. Due to M being the older child when the new baby is born i have increasing concerns about his emotional welfare.  As i saw the impact this had on the respondents older child. In the past 2 years I have noticed a decline in the respondents concerns and attitudes towards M. This has included a lack of interest into health concerns I have raised, a lack of interest in after school activities and under achievement at school. In the year 2011 M stayed with me for 2 weeks on two separate occasions. The respondent did not call him once or attempt to make contact although I encouraged this.  M stays with me 12 nights a month at present, I believe it will be In the best interest for M to reside with me full time as i strongly believe i and supportive family members can provide continuity in meeting his needs. [/hide]
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Hi Dad123
Just a quick point - I assume you have being trying to hide your posts from guests - I've corrected this for you as they weren't quite right. You need to click on the tags and then enclose your message between the start and end tags - the end tag has the '/' enclosed in the brackets - if you edit your own post, you will see what I have done to make it work.
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