[Solved] Primary Carer

Hi,

Update. I gave my hair samples beginning of December but unfortunately at 2.5cm it was to short to do an overall analysis of alcohol but long enough for cocaine testing. My ex partner has cancelled two appointments for sampling and because of her unwillingness to engage, the guardians solicitor has asked for a new directions hearing because my ex will not engage and give a sample. I have been advised to wait until the hearing next month to give another sample (although I’d much rather do it now so the results can clear me ahead of the next hearing). The local authority’s stance has not changed and they are still pushing for residency for me but the judge is waiting for Cafcass to do a report also. I have chased them a few times over the last couple of months but there does not seem to be any urgency whatsoever on their behalf even though the concerns involved.

I’m slightly worried we will go back to court and the judge will just tell my ex that she has to do the sample and get a telling off. My solicitor is pushing for the children to live with me in the interim as my ex’s unwillingness to give the sample shows an element of guilt and that she has something to hide.

Has anyone any experience of the other party refusing or making excuses to do the sampling?

Thanks in advance

Hi there

It’s impossible to predict what the judge will decide, but he won’t like the fact that she is being so obstructive. Unfortunately, when a party doesn’t do as they have been ordered, generally all that happens is a repeat to do what has been ordered and a few stern words. If she we’re to continue not t to into a further hearing, there would be more serious repercussions. However, the judge might surprise us, especially as there are safeguarding risks here... you must push hard for an interim order for the kids to live with you, when you attend next month. Use the info about statements and get one prepared.

There’s nothing to stop you from paying for another test, if you wanted a fuller history when you go back to court. Could you speak to Social Services about perhaps doing some regular, supervised breathalyser tests for alcohol, although it doesn’t show a history, it will show that you aren’t drinking currently... just a thought.

Thanks for your response.

I think pushing for the children to live with me in the interim is what I will do and as for the statements, I have a call with my solicitor this week to go over them.

I had 6 random alcohol breathalyser tests in November and December and all came back negative so I have already gone down that route. The thing is, drinking is not an issue for me as it was an allegation my ex said in court on the back of the drug allegations I made.

I will revert back next month after the hearing.

Thankyou

Hi,

Bit of an update. My hair starts test for alcohol and cocaine came back negative. After being accused of being an alcoholic and a drug abuser when we went back in Feb my ex then accused me of domestic abuse. We have been separated 6 years and although there were some rows during our time together there was never any violence and no police reports to back this up. Either way the judge as cafcass I presume needed to make sure and the date was set for a final hearing in August. Shared contact to remain until then. In the meantime my ex was ordered to do the hair sample by mid March otherwise an adverse outcome would be noted and we would be back in court. Her results come back and they clearly show she is a heavy user of cocaine and has lied about her usage. So, in that basis we are back in court next week as Cafcass not happy with the heavy usage and will push for the children to live with me in the interim.

Wish me luck.

That’s great news for you and the children... Hopefully with CAFCASS behind you, you will get the interim order for them to live with you.

Wishing you all the luck in the world... it’s about time the courts did the right thing here and recognise where the children’s best interests lie!

That said, they hear so many allegations, that they have to take them all seriously, until it can be proved otherwise.