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I left my abusive wife on Friday. She is a bully, and has threatened abortion of my unborn, she is mentally abusive, a compulsive liar and has drained me financially whilst feathering her own nest. All I want is contact with my children.
She decided to disappear. The police have found her, but I don't know where she is. I just don't know what to do. I want nothing to do with her, but obviously I want contact with my toddler (not biologically mine, but she has never known her real father, and we are married). My daughters surname has been changed by deed poll to mine.
My wife is Polish and is threatening to disappear to Poland. As far as I am aware, she hasn't got any passports. I just don't know what to do next, or where to turn. I told the police about the abuse and wanted them to take my statement regarding what she has done, but they said it would probably mean her arrest and I am not sure I want that.
Has anyone got any advice regarding my next step please?
Hi there
I'm so sorry to hear about this and although it may all seem so upsetting right now, being in an abusive relationship is never right and with time you will begin to feel better.
It is my feeling that without proof of her abusive personality, you will have an uphill struggle to prevent her from returning to her home country. In addition, even though you may have changed the child's name by deed poll, that doesn't give you parental rights, only adoption would do that.
As far as the unborn child is concerned, you have no rights over this baby until the baby is born.
The only way to try and stop her leaving would be to progress the complaint with the police. You would then have proof of domestic violence, this would allow you to get legal aid funding for a solicitor and it may help to stop her from removing the child from the country.
You would need to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order, residence Order and Parental Responsibility. However, a solicitor would advise on the best way forward.
You can get more advice from the CAB and some solicitors offer a free initial consultation which might be useful to you to get some advice immediately.
Although you have said you are not sure if you want her arrested, you have to consider that there are limitations as to what you can do without the police and/or the courts - turning up on her doorstep (if you even knew where that was) is not an option as that could land you in trouble - realisitically Childrens Services need to be involved if there is a danger of harm to your children.
I would say that if she is Polish and over here, then she must have a passport somewhere (unless she is over here illegally) or have had one in the past, so be able to renew it.
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