[Solved] Poor grammar from my ex's solicitor

You'll all have to help me pick a new one when I'm allowed!

Remember when I first posted I expected to be run out of town, pelted with tomatoes or stoned :boohoo:

Martha not Arthur :woohoo:

Barty - I am gonna throw into the mix against the grain that you ought to highlight the other parties solicitors lack of professionalism. Explain that these are documents that may be used in a court of law and clearly if they do not make sense it will not help progress matters. Explain you want these check through a senior solicitor if they intend to continue to issue such poor quality correspondence.

that is the line I was going down Boycie - I can't believe my ex partner is paying £150 plus a letter for mistakes like this to be made

It is unprofessional, I agree, but I'd be more inclined to clarify rather than to correct - that way you can make sure what is being said is how you understand it, and you are also highlighting the issue without actually highlighting it directly, if you see what I mean.

This is a much better way actd thank you. Perhaps during this horrible process I have become a defensive old sod. Is this still too direct:

Your correspondence to date has been inaccurate and has contained grammatical errors which I find disconcerting considering the importance of the matter in question.

Please can I clarify the following sentence in your letter?

“It is not be appropriate for XXX to be cared for by others on your behalf during contact visits. Contact visits are for XXX to spend time with you.”

Boycie always goes in all guns blazing love it lol 🙂

The thing with solicitor's letters is that they're not typed by the solicitor themselves but by office monkeys. One of my exes was an accountant at a solicitor and, at various works dos, I met her offices monkeys. One was 18 and one was 19, both as thick as the proverbial pigs***. If you mentioned grammar to either one of them they'd speak at length about their grandmother.

Please can I clarify the following sentence in your letter?

“It is not be appropriate for XXX to be cared for by others on your behalf during contact visits. Contact visits are for XXX to spend time with you.”

I'm reading the above, and although there seems to be one letter out of place in the first sentence - "be" - which shouldn't be there, I don't really see what the problem is.

Can I ask, does anyone else care for your child during contact visits? Because that is the essence of what the solicitor is saying, contact sessions are primarily for you to care for your child, not other family members e.t.c If that statement is incorrect then I can understand that you want to query it, but why bother writing to them to hassle them over a single word out of place?

If they have said something to you that you don't like, then prove them wrong by taking action that shows them to be wrong.

You have to pick your battles in court proceedings, and keep child focused. I wouldn't waste your time warring with the solicitor over grammar. It's point scoring at best and not worth your time.

Focus on your child and getting the contact you want. I can assure you quibbling over how correct the grammar is in a solicitors letter won't advance your contact one iota.

Just my two pence worth - contrary to what others have said.

Simon.

Thanks for your message Simon, I do appreciate all input. I understand I am being pedantic but in each letter I receive from the solicitor some sort of error is made in the communication.

My final letter in response gradually batted back each point in turn and explained the following:

The limited contact time I receive with XXXX is always enjoyed together as father and daughter despite your client leaving XXXX with others.

I would expect professional solicitors not to make continued errors with a matter which is very important to both my ex paying for a service and myself on the receiving end of such legal drivel.

I was very much in two minds in bringing it up in my response however I think I made the correct decision, albeit I agree with you it isn't going to help me move further forward seeing my daughter. Incidentally this is my final letter to her solicitors because they have been very obstructive throughout and I feel like I am wasting precious time. The family court will be the next step.

I wouldn't worry about it let it go, concentrate on fighting for your child, I've just got the court order through and they've spelt my name wrong used my ex surname as mine, got the birthdate of my daughter wrong and spelt her middle name wrong it's really poor grammar all the way through lol

Slim 🙂

Cheers Slim

The thing to appreciate is the ex's solicitors are taking instructions from your ex and not yourself, and as such they don't really care what you think or what you say. Your ex pay's them to send you a letter and they do it - it's all money to them. You can't reason with them or convince them you are right.

I received communications from my ex's solicitor - half of which I'm sure was designed to wind me up and irritate me - but I never bothered trying to reason with them or explain myself to them. It's not possible to persudae them you are right and your ex is wrong. Morals don't really come into it unfortunately, because money talks.

If you have made up your mind that you are going to seek the help of the court to move contact foward, then it's best to only communicate with the other side when absolutely necessary. You get a letter with a spelling mistake? Don't worry about it, you have better things to do with your time.

They say something to you that you don't like? Ignore it for the reasons mentioned above. Once you get into proceedings, these people will use every little thing you say or do against you. Believe me, I know. You say or do the littlest thing, no matter how innocuous or harmless, and it is spun later down the line into something to make you look bad. I wouldn't be suprised if they could twist your latest reply into you being argumentative, insulting e.t.c

It really is best to let these slide, because they mean nothing in reality.

Think about your child, sort your game plan out and stick to it. Don't let these buffoons get one over on you.

Simon.

I have it all to lose and everything to gain.
That being said I have to fully understand each letter which regularly has mistakes in order to reply. Perhaps I have taken the bait but I certainly won't be dwelling on it.
Contact to my ex is minimal once a week if that via text.

You are absolutely right that situations are being twisted and wording used is to upset and incite. Sticking to a game plan is paramount thank you. [censored] hard though when your daughter is the goal.