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A few months ago, I was at the ex's house caring for our son while she was at work. She came back and we eventually got baby to sleep. I was on my way out when we had a disagreement regarding arrangements for the next day.
It didn't take much before she started screaming in my face ordering me to leave, otherwise she would call the police. For the penitence of my sins, I told her she could use my phone, which I regret saying. She called the police. I left.
A few days later I called the police too, and made a statement as to what had happened.
I later submitted a request for access to personal data, and can see that my ex call was recorded as a "non crime domestic violence incident" with disposal code "2.17 no crime - secondary offence".
I have a FHDRA in 5 weeks and intend to bring this up in my position statement. Should I be concerned ?
Hi There,
.
As much as it won't go in your favour, I also don't think it will harm things too much, the police didn't feel that they needed to follow up on things, but just make a record so I don't feel it will get held against you. You do need to be carful as things like this can eaily get out of hand and make life a lot more difficult for you.
.
GTTS
It is worth bringing it up in your position statement, as your ex certainly will.
The situation at the FHDRA is usually that all allegations are taken seriously, and an order is made for various investigations to be done. They generally hold contact at whatever the current arrangement is until that's done. That can be frustrating, but I understand why they do it, as they have to be very cautious where kids' safety is concerned.
CAFCASS will generally undertake level 2 police checks if a Section 7 report is ordered, which will flag this stuff up. My ex brought it up, and I had also reported her to the police a couple of times which had resulted in her being arrested.
In the report, the CAFCASS officer basically said that she thought it was a case of arguments escalating into physical violence and gave us both a ticking off, but said it wasn't a safeguarding concern no matter how much of a fuss my ex made. I'd argue that my ex- was abusive to me, but as my lawyer told me, they aren't really interested in what happened in the past, only how to move forward for the good of the kids. So I'm happy with that outcome.
The fact that I was supportive of the process and understood why contact had been restricted even though all my ex's allegations were groundless definitely went in my favour during the S7. They like to see that you have insight into the situation, can accept your own part in the conflict, and express a willingness to do better for your kids in the future.
Also ask in your position statement for you both to be referred to an SPIP course and make sure you go on it BEFORE the officer interviews you for your S7. The courts love SPIPs, I found it a really good course, and it will teach you what sort of things mark you out as a good parent to the CAFCASS officer.
Whatever the rights and wrongs of the situation, you got into an argument with your ex- whilst your kid was in the house. We've all done it, and it's easy to do, but you need to make sure that doesn't happen again.
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