[Solved] Poisoning our child and looking for help.

I don't think it can be considered vexatious to ask for costs when the op has misbehaved but I take the point about building a perception for the judge and the application for costs would be at the end of the hearing so should not effect that hearing and done in the mildest way possible and all very humble of course.

I'm not sure it's worth it just for my petrol and parking charges anyway. 🙂

Rumour is I may be back in Court mid to late next week for another attempt, just waiting to hear.

yes I agree I didn't know if u had legal reps but I suppose that should have been obvious. I might try milk it anyway if I thought that it would help show me as the injured party or gain sympathy.
How come ur waiting to hear. I suppose u were adjourned with conditions such as first available date maybe and waiting to hear that date. I should think that you will get an order that's good for you as there wont be anyone there to oppose what you propose.

She'll turn up, she's not daft. She'll push delaying it as far as she can get away with it, then turn up.

If it was just about contact I wouldn't mind, Its not going to be easy although I'm sure lots have been in the same situation with parental aalienation.

heres some case law for u ....im rooting for u northern guy and I wish I could help more. im a northern guy myself and in the same boat...stay strong.....notice the recent case law that even ignores a childs wish that they don't see there dad. This stuff will give u hope

Parental Alienation and Intractable Contact Dispute Case Law

Judgments which may prove useful to parents who believe their children to be being alienated from them. These include judgments which specifically relate to parental alienation, and those which involve wishes and feelings and intractable disputes.

Where in the public domain, full versions of the judgment can be read onscreen or downloaded in a PDF format for printing via link buttons.

R H (Minors) (Access) [1992] 1 FLR 148 at 153A;click to collapse contents

R H (Minors) (Access) [1992] 1 FLR 148 at 153A; Re M (Contact: Supervision) [1998] 1FLR 727

"The possibility of short-term upset must be balanced against the long-term benefits which are likely to accrue if contact is established."

RE: M (CONTACT: WELFARE TEST) [1995] 1 FLR 274 AT 278-9, CAclick to collapse contents

RE: M (CONTACT: WELFARE TEST) [1995] 1 FLR 274 AT 278-9, CA

"namely that the court should consider whether the fundamental need of every child to have an enduring relationship with both parents is outweighed by the depth of harm to the particular child that might thereby be caused by the contact order."

RE T (CONTACT: ALIENATION: PERMISSION TO APPEAL) [2002] EWCA Civ 1736click to collapse contents

RE T (CONTACT: ALIENATION: PERMISSION TO APPEAL) [2002] EWCA Civ 1736

Appeal allowed "I have concluded that the judge failed to make a finding or sufficiently reasoned finding on alienation by the mother or to make it clear that he was not making such a finding". There was a serious breakdown in the child/father relationship and the judge failed in his quasi-inquisitorial duty to assess the origins of the breakdown.

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

RE S (Children) [2004] EWCA Civ 597 2 FLR 710click to collapse contents

RE S (Children) [2004] EWCA Civ 597 2 FLR 710

"It is essential that the passage of time should not become conclusive in depriving the children of a relationship with their father."

At paragraph 17 "It is a case in which the passage of the years has almost become conclusive and should not be allowed to become conclusive without a major judicial effort to rescue for these children a relationship with their father before it is too late."

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

A v A [2004] EWHC 142 (Fam)click to collapse contents

A v A [2004] EWHC 142 (Fam)

The court found that a shared residence order ´removes any impression that one parent is good and responsible and the other is not, and has the benefit of being more realistic in those cases where the child is to spend considerable amounts of time with those parents´.

Lord Justice Wall further confirmed that shared residence orders may be made even when one parent is hostile to the idea (and otherwise the ´no-order principle´ would apply).

´If these parents were capable of working in harmony, and there were no difficulties about the exercise of shared parental responsibility, I would have .... made no order as to residence.´

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

RE S (CONTACT: PROMOTING RELATIONSHIP WITH ABSENT PARENT) [2004] EWCA CIV 18click to collapse contents

RE S (CONTACT: PROMOTING RELATIONSHIP WITH ABSENT PARENT) [2004] EWCA CIV 18

[32] No parent is perfect but ´good-enough parents´ should have a relationship with their children for their own benefit and even more in the best interests of the children. It is, therefore, most important that the attempt to promote contact between a child and the non-resident parent should not be abandoned until it is clear that the child will not benefit from continuing the attempt.

The application by the father´s counsel for a psychological assessment is the possible key to a reconsideration of future contact...

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

M (Children) (Contact: Long Term Best Interests) [2005] EWCA Civ 1090click to collapse contents

M (Children) (Contact: Long Term Best Interests) [2005] EWCA Civ 1090

"Justice to the children and the deprived parent require the Court to leave no stone unturned that might resolve the situation and prevent long term harm to the children." "Includes the Court directing a psychiatric or psychological assessment from an expert experienced in dealing with families with children with problems of this kind." "...the Court should not stand by and take no positive action."

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

G (A Child) [2006] EWCA Civ 348click to collapse contents

G (A Child) [2006] EWCA Civ 348

The Court should "pursue all possible avenues to the resumption of direct contact" established in particular in G (A Child) [2006] EWCA Civ 348. "Whatever the difficulties, however scant the prospects of success, the courts must not relent in pursuit of the restoration of what had been a natural relationship between father and daughter, absent compelling evidence that the welfare of the child requires respite."

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

A (A Child) [2007] EWCA Civ 899click to collapse contents

A (A Child) [2007] EWCA Civ 899

The report was to the effect that the mother suffered a personality disorder which rendered her incapable of controlling her emotions when confronted, directly or indirectly, by the father on occasions of contact; that, albeit that he, Dr Anderson, understood that S had not yet been harmed by the level of conflict generated by the mother, such would not remain the case; and that the continued parental alienation likely to be visited by the mother upon him and the attendant emotional pressure upon him would lead to significant psychological difficulties for him.

The mother persistently interfered with contact arrangements including breaches of an interim order, and it was the opinion of the independent social worker that the child must live with the father.

"21. Mr Wall complains that the recorder failed to pay sufficient regard to the likelihood of continued difficulty in relation to handovers even following a change of residence. I have pointed out that the recorder accepted the likelihood of that continued feature but drew the distinction, in my view valid, that at least in the father's household S would not be exposed to a continual atmosphere of hostility towards the non-residential parent...

29. This case affords another vivid illustration of the inability of a court, in any jurisdiction, to protect children from all the consequences of the way their parents choose to behave. Where criticism of parenting is exclusively referable to issues of contact a transfer of residence will, of course, always remain the exceptional response, but there must be times when the court is able and seen to be willing to carry through a transfer of residence when all else has failed.

30. This case is distinguished by the degree of judicial continuity which was available to the parties. It is apparent by looking at the learned recorder's involvement in this case, that he has repeatedly made findings as to the frustration of contact: he issued the clearest of warnings; he was in receipt of compelling professional evidence suggesting that the mother lacked insight or the capacity to change and, of course, he had the impact of that video. In my judgment, its importance matters rather less as to what one precisely makes of it but as providing a vivid illustration of the mother's lack of insight, or ability to change, when it is appreciated it is in the context of the judge having given the clearest possible warning that he would consider a change of residence were the difficulties not to abate.

31. In my judgment, the learned judge was fully entitled to follow what, admittedly, was a dramatic course; it was one that will bring real if transitory cost to the child but one in which, in my judgment, he was fully entitled to carry through. There was simply no real alternative and, had the judge not made the order that he had made, in effect, the court would be giving up on this family and allowing the mother to behave in whatever way she chose."

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

Re P (Children) [2008] EWCA Civ 1431click to collapse contents

Re P (Children) [2008] EWCA Civ 1431, [2009] 1 FLR 1056

"Where an intractable dispute has resulted in the children refusing to see their father, the court should not terminate direct contact until every avenue has been explored , including counselling or therapy for the parents." See paragraphs 37 & 38.

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

Re A (Suspended Residence Order) [2009] EWHC 1576 (Fam) click to collapse contents

Re A (Suspended Residence Order) [2009] EWHC 1576 (Fam) COLERIDGE J

"a crucial measure of a resident parents ´good enough´ parenting is whether they promote frequent and continuous contact with the non resident parent." - Dr Cameron

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

Burgess v Stokes [2009] EWCA Civ 548click to collapse contents

Burgess v Stokes [2009] EWCA Civ 548

"The days are long gone when mothers can assume that their role as carers of children protects them from being sentenced to immediate terms of imprisonment for clear, repeated and deliberate breaches of contact orders." - Ward LJ.

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

S (Children) [2010] EWCA Civ 447click to collapse contents

S (Children) [2010] EWCA Civ 447

It would be "wrong to proceed on the basis of wishes and feelings alone.." and "...wishes and feelings are secondary to their welfare..".

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

Re D (Children) [2010] EWCA Civ 496click to collapse contents

Re D (Children) [2010] EWCA Civ 496

A complex case where residence was transferred to the paternal grandparents. The father had been found guilty of sexually abusing his step-daughter. The father maintained his innocence. The mother of the father´s two other children became obsessively opposed to contact between the two sons and the paternal family.

So what the judge had to balance was on the one hand the enormous harm, real genuine psychological harm which these children would suffer if they continued to grow up in a false belief system, against the love which their mother undoubtedly bore them and the fact that they had lived with her for all their lives. The judge went about that task in my view conscientiously. He made it absolutely clear that the welfare of the children was his first and paramount consideration. Everything else had to pale into insignificance...

The idea that these children should regard their grandparents as effectively ogres who are likely to facilitate and connive them being abused by their father is fanciful and absurd and I do not give it credence for one moment; nor, plainly, did the judge because the judge trusted the grandparents. And so, as I say, when the judge came to strike the balance between, on the one hand, an abusive false belief system inculcated by the mother, and the possibility that against that, on the other side, free from her false belief systems, the children might be able to regain at least a fraction of their childhood and be normal children again enjoying a normal relationship with grandparents, the judge's balance in my view comes down only one way and certainly I cannot say on any view that he was plainly wrong. I do not underestimate the short term distress which the children may feel but I ask their parents to think very carefully about why they are feeling that distress, and if their parents are honest people they will recognise, and their mother in particular will recognise, that they are feeling it because she feels it and she has inflicted on these children a belief system which, in the words of the consultant psychiatrist, might well involve them becoming emotional cripples.

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

TE v SH and S [2010] EWHC 192click to collapse contents

TE v SH and S [2010] EWHC 192

"It would be ... inappropriate ..to proceed on the basis that expressed wishes and feelings should necessarily be taken at face value. They need to be assessed in the light of [S´s] age and understanding. The impact of alienation upon the reliability of those wishes and feelings and the signs (albeit modest) that they may not in fact reflect his true feelings, are matters to be taken into account when assessing the weight to be attached to them".

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

Re L-W (Children) [2010] EWCA Civ 1253click to collapse contents

Re L-W (Children) [2010] EWCA Civ 1253

The resident parent's obligation (in this case the father) was to "allow" and make the child "available" for contact. This was the father's obligation under the contact order "no more and no less". There exists a defence of impossibility. Within the judgment, it was also noted that committal to prison remains an essential power of the court. The judgment includes opinion as to when committal can be appropriate for breach of contact and contempt of court.

The text of the judgment also highlights the possible use of suspended residence orders as a tool to encourage contact (paragraph 107):

"this court has endorsed the propriety in an appropriate case of making a suspended residence order, that is, an order providing for a future transfer of residence upon the happening (or non-happening) of a defined event: see Re A (Suspended Residence Order) [2009] EWHC 1576 (Fam), [2010] 1 FLR 1679 (appeal dismissed Re D (Children) [2009] EWCA Civ 1551), and Re D (Children) xxx (appeal dismissed Re D (Children) [2010] EWCA Civ 496)."

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

Re E (A Child) [2011] EWHC 3521 (Fam)click to collapse contents

Re E (A Child) [2011] EWHC 3521 (Fam)

A recent judgment giving guidance for case management in parental alienation cases, and in particular noting that in such intractable cases it is important to to hear evidence on welfare matters at an early stage (rather than fact-finding) and that judicial continuity is important, but that the High Court is not best placed to provide that.

TCM Comment: It is worth noting the conflicting opinions of the Guardian and the expert in the case (the respected Mark Berelowitz), and that contact may have ceased had no expert been involved in this case (e.g. the judge was informed by the opinion of the guardian alone). It is worth remembering that a social worker/CAFCASS Officer is not an expert in child psychology, and there may be times when an expert opinion would be more appropriate, depending on the matters being considered (e.g. the psychological impact/harm on a child of cessation of contact and the risks and potential rewards of contact being resumed).

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

M (Children) [2012] EWHC 1948 (Fam)click to collapse contents

M (Children) [2012] EWHC 1948 (Fam)

The children were being alienated against the father and paternal family. The mother had broken orders, and contact resumed under warning of committal to prison. The guardian only recommended infrequent contact. The judge found the guardian´s reasoning to be fundamentally flawed in that she confused the children´s wishes and feelings with their welfare needs and had taken them at face value. She had failed to adequately consider the impact of estrangement:

The judge gave one last chance to the mother, by way of a conditional residence order with residence transferring to the father should the mother interfere with contact between the children and him. The children´s passports were to be retained by court tipstaff and certain other restrictions were placed on matters related to parental responsibility.

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

TB v DB [2013] EWHC 2275 (Fam)click to collapse contents

TB v DB [2013] EWHC 2275 (Fam)

Shared residence order discharged and replaced with sole residence in favour of the father. Repeat allegations made by the mother against the father and uncle were untrue. The mother had told the child that the reason for the cessation of contact was that the father was too busy. The court paid regard to the impact on the child of the mother´s comments about the father.

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

A (A Child) [2013] EWCA Civ 1104click to collapse contents

A (A Child) [2013] EWCA Civ 1104

In this case, the court had acknowledged that it was the mother´s intractable and unreasonable position which was the bar to contact, but felt helpless to intervene. The case came after years of returns to court. An important judgment, where the trial judge had made an order allowing only indirect contact for the father, restricted to Christmas and his daughter's birthday. This was an intractable contact dispute, caused by the mother's hostility to contact. While not an alienation case per se (albiet the child is clearly torn between her own wish for contact and loyalty to the mother and her opposition), McFarlane LJ upheld the approach taken in Re S (Transfer of Residence) [2010] EWHC 192 (Fam) that while noting the importance of a child's wishes and feelings, the court must consider too whether those wishes and feelings are rational and reasonable.

MacFarlane endorses Munby LJ's guidance in Re L-W (Children) [2010] EWCA Civ 1253 that there needs to be judicial continuity, judicial case management including effective timetabling, a judicially set strategy for the case; and consistency of judicial approach. He goes further in paragraph 60:

´If, as part of that strategy, the court makes an express order requiring the parent with care to comply with contact arrangements, and that order is breached then, as part of a consistent strategy, the judge must, in the absence of good reason for any failure, support the order that he or she has made by considering enforcement, either under the enforcement provisions in CA 1989, ss 11J-11N or by contempt proceedings. To do otherwise would be to abandon the strategy for the case with the risk that a situation similar to that which has occurred in the present case may develop; to do otherwise is also inconsistent with the rule of law.´

The father's appeal was successful. While the outcomes recommended by the trial judge were not necessarily in themselves wrong, the systemic failures over a period of years did amount to a breach of the child´s and father´s right to family life under the Equalities and Human Rights Act and MacFarlane suggested the involvement of a multi-disciplinary team to progress matters. The matter was moved to the High Court for the father´s application for contact to be reheard.

Read Full Text

Download Judgment (PDF)

H (Children) [2014] EWCA Civ 733click to collapse contents

H (Children) [2014] EWCA Civ 733

Appeal denied. Lady Justice Parker had reversed residence following the mother´s manipulation of the children in opposition to contact.

Regarding wishes and feelings, the Lady Justice Parker makes the following, useful observations:

"72. The social worker, JW, who is warm, caring and committed, urges me to leave the children living with the mother because that is what they say they want. Until I enforced contact she was also saying that there should be no contact, because that is what the boys say they want. The proof of that pudding has been very much in the eating, on present showing. I have more than once stressed in this case, as in others, that the word used in the Children Act about wishes and feelings is "ascertainable" and not "expressed". "Ascertainable" often means that the Court has to look at actions rather than words. The ascertainable wishes and feelings of these boys have been demonstrated by the evidence that they are more than happy to be with their father. I suspect they may feel some relief being out of the maelstrom. Their grandmother is calm and robust."

Regarding the social worker and children´s guardian opposing a reversal of residence at that time, the judge makes further useful and intelligent points:

"74. I regard parental manipulation of children, of which I distressingly see an enormous amount, as exceptionally harmful. It distorts the relationship of the child not only with the parent but with the outside world. Children who are suborned into flouting court orders are given extremely damaging messages about the extent to which authority can be disregarded and given the impression that compliance with adult expectations is optional. Bearing in mind the documented history of this mother's inability to control these children, their relationship with one another and wholly inappropriate empowerment, it strikes me as highly damaging in this case. I am disappointed that the professionals in this case are unable truly to understand this message. The recent decision of the Court of Appeal, Re M (Children) [2013] EWCA Civ 1147 requires to be read by all practitioners in this field. Lady Justice Macur gave firm and clear guidance about the importance of contact. Parents who obstruct a relationship with the other parent are inflicting untold damage on their children and it is, in my view, about time that professionals truly understood this

Thanks again for your help.

I'm finding difficult knowing what to say, I don't want to come across as arrogant by quoting precedence cases etc, but I don't want to be brushed under the carpet either.

From where I'm standing I've got one chance at this and I'm less than an hour in Court to try and prove that my child would be better with me in their lives than they will be without. If I get this wrong that's the last I'll see of my child. 🙁

I don't know where u are in the process really and none of us know ur case well enough to advise you and please be aware of that. The case law will show u examples of arguments and its easy to find the transcripts if u need them . they also show how the law has been used. It clearly shows that every effort should be made to make ur child have contact and it seems clear that is the route that presents the best option. The other point is her wishes and feelings and u need to put a good argument that this isn't the priority which is the welfare and also that her wishes and feelings cant be judged while influenced by mum. The case law shows ways that can be done.
I cant see your case being decided in an hour and even if it is you should already be looking at reasons for appeal. there is a short limited time for appeal so its probably best to have prepared that before the case.

Although overuse of the case law wont be welcome presenting it in ur final submission is essential. This is the law afterall and it should be helpful to show the judge what he may be missing. I hope things work out northern guy.

Here's one absolutely devastated Dad having literally just walked out of the Court room at 12.

The Judge unfortunately let my ex do all the talking, I don't believe he read any of the evidence I had presented to him before we got in there and was completely and utterly on her side. She lied, she sounded convincing that it was all my fault and she had put no pressure on our child so he just instructed Cafcass involvement again.

Hi Northernguy. Sorry to hear how things have gone today. Was this your first hearing? What Cafcass involvement has the judge recommended? A Section 7 report?

It was the first hearing yes. He never said what involvement, but I guess a wishes and feelings report which is not going to help my case.

Is there any other report they can do?

im not sure that was a good idea walking out and it isn't a bad thing about cafcass and I suspect almost inevitable. You must stay cool and remember that your under immense scrutiny and also that your perspective is probably a bit blurred. Realistically it seems a logical progression as the judge may have allowed her to ramble on in case she incriminated her self. if she had been very hostile he may have decided to go for a guardian in that case. In some ways it seems logical to let her ramble on and I suppose he knew your argument and knew that it would still be the same outcome so didn't feel the need to waste everyones time airing your opinion.

It seems ok tpo me and you are still in the fight and now u need a contact with ur child as part of the section 7..MAKE SURE this is without maternal influence and when wishes and feelings are looked at make sure that they know that u expect this to be done in a neautral place without maternal influence. this is where u can change the course northern guy. Did u ask for interim contact and if not why not.
U just made a tiny step of progression and with some luck this will also give u the golden nugget of contact....The judge can now start to explore mums influence and u can start to expose the truth...

I don't mean I walked out of the Court, I meant I had just come out of Court. As much as I felt let down by today I stayed polite throughout. 🙂
When it comes to Cafcass, my ex will probably take our child to their office, as she did before. I won't be allowed to change that.
Contact is still in place officially, but our child won't see me, so not much use having it written on paper unfortunately.