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Please help - what do I do now re: NMO false allegations

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Posts: 35
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(@dadofone98)
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Joined: 2 years ago

Sorry just a quick update - had an email from her solicitor now to say that she agrees for contact to continue , she will not report me for breach of an order for the purpose of handovers and she will be seeking a variation of the non molestation order to allow contact to take place .but with limited direct contact between us . Really nothing of any weight to back her application.
 I want the easiest way out of this now though  - not sure what I should do , still feeling like [censored] ☹️
not sure whether to hold off on the c79 now until this is resolved with the NMO and new varied child contact arrangements put in place. As I understand it my options are:- contest NMO and go through all of that , request to her solicitor that she withdraws NMO or accept the NMO on a no admission basis - What do you all think should be the next step ?

have started a reply to the solicitor ,she has suggested lots of things I had already suggest via email and to the solicitor . I’d be collecting him from school so the ex wouldn’t be there , I want to say I won’t have direct contact with her due to false allegations in NMO and plus eliminating and risk of little one witnessing anything at handover- she”LL have to agree to a 3rd party - I’ve made my mind up now after all this , i don’t want to see her at all in person it makes me want to throw up 🤢. 

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(@mrstrange)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 167

@dadofone98 

Sounds like a positive development to me. You could consider:

Cross-undertaking: This is usually a promise to not do things that you shouldn't do anyway like stalking, harassing, threatening or pestering.

Enforcement order: Don't apply for but considering doing so if there's another breach. 

Handover: Via school is ideal. However there are circumstances where a child needs to be collected from the other parent. You could go ahead with it in order to be child focused but can stop if new issues arise after the undertaking has been accepted. 

 

Agree to not discuss anything in front of the children. Any discussions should be held in writing before or after the handovers. This will ensure that handovers are a transactional 20 second exchange.

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Posts: 667
(@dadmod3)
Honorable Member
Joined: 4 years ago

You can offer to accept undertakings rather than go through the stress of contesting the non mol.  Just make sure that you can have child contact without breaching anything.  Pick up from school is a good idea.  You could include using a family member in case of sickness etc.  it sounds as though she is backing down a bit which is good

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Posts: 35
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(@dadofone98)
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Joined: 2 years ago

Just to update I’m waiting to hear back from her solicitor. I’ve said it’s all false in the NMO and she should withdraw it so we can get on with making arrangements for contact . I’ve said I won’t risk any direct contact with her now to protect my self . Still feel sick and anxious and haven’t seen little one in over a month now 

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(@JackParker)
Joined: 4 years ago

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Posts: 46
Posted by: @dadofone98

Just to update I’m waiting to hear back from her solicitor. I’ve said it’s all false in the NMO and she should withdraw it so we can get on with making arrangements for contact . I’ve said I won’t risk any direct contact with her now to protect my self . Still feel sick and anxious and haven’t seen little one in over a month now 

consider yourself lucky. I havent seen my child in many years, and contact is indirect and scant. You have to put things in perspective. That is your child and you will be reunited. Your feelings are understandable, but control them. Its hard, but doable. I have a hearing in a few weeks, to vacate a 7 year old useless ex parte protection order that my ex is now using to hamper even indirect contact. Since there has been no harassment or issues in 7 years, Im hoping the order is discharged.

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(@mrstrange)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 167

@JackParker 

It's a painful process, remain calm and don't see her any threatening or angry emails. If non-compliance continues then an application for an enforcement order will be your only options. 

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Topic starter
(@dadofone98)
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Joined: 2 years ago

Wow 7 years how awful 😞  

I didn’t hear anything back so there’ll be no contact again this weekend - be interesting to see what her solicitor says as their email last week said contact would resume etc but no reply to mine this week 

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(@dadofone98)
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Joined: 2 years ago

Have the hearing next week and have agreed with solicitor to accept an undertakings on a no admission basis. Do I need to prepare a position statement ? Or shall I just wait and see what’s said? All a bit unknown atm 

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(@mrstrange)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 167

@dadofone98 

Is it a first hearing for the non-molestation application? 

 

If you are going to accept an undertaking, as the solicitor to email you the draft of the undertakings(list of promises that you will make) and the expiry date which I presume will be 12 months from when date when the nmo was applied for.

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