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some useful info here: https://www.incourt.co.uk/defending-non-molestation-applicati
Yes have read that one but still do t know exactly what I should do now - do I contact the court or wait until the hearing to present my side of things . And how would I prepare an under taking if I was going to go down that route ? It’s worth noting that I have text exchanges between us after the alleged incident where she has contacted me about contact in a couple of weeks stating that it can’t go ahead as they are away that weekend. Not because she is intimidated and scared for her life
@dadofone98 hi, can you check your court papers and see if it asks you to prepare a statement? if not then usually you attend court on the date, listen to the judge. if your unsure of anything, you can ask judge for explanation. you can tell the judge what you decide to do in person, accept the non-mol, accept an undertaking, or you plan to contest the non-mol.
Ok no it doesn’t ask me to anything apart from attend via Microsoft teams on the given date . I don’t know whether to contest or do the undertaking . This is going to be very difficult without legal support
You can do this on your own. If you contest the non mol, the Judge will ask her to prepare a Scott schedule with a limited number of accusations, usually about five. There is a column for you to explain your side of things. Once that is done, there will a hearing to decide whose evidence is the most plausible. That will be several months away. However, the Judge will make the order in the meantime. You can offer undertakings along the lines of the non mol ie no contact but this can be except for child contact arrangements. The non mol can be made on 'no findings of fact' which means that the court neither believes or disbelieves what she has said. You may not want to accept a non mol if the allegations are unfounded so you can offer to accept undertakings. Make sure that the undertakings are written so you can have contact for child arrangements. If you don't attend the non mol will be confirmed - the hearing is hydro right to object. If a non mol is in place, it doesn't affect your right to see your child. There are some helpful guides on the advicenow.org.uk website.
Step one. Keep calm. Family courts receive thousands of NMO with similar allegations every year.
Read her allegations carefully. If you have sent regrettable texts respond if they have been taken out or context or if they were provoked.
There is a big difference between a pattern of verbal abuse with intent to cause offence versus out of character one-off messages.
Going forward. If she obstructs contact. Don’t argue with her. Just gather evidence and fill in an enforcement order. Don’t let her rattle you into pointless arguments that you will regret playing a role in. Furthermore don’t threaten her with legal action as it could be considered coersive or controlling behaviour.
Don’t admit to abuse. However if an undertaking is offered, you could consider accepting it as long as your only promise is to not harass, pester or threaten her. Only turn up at the house for the purpose of pre arranged handover.
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