Please help - what do I do now re: NMO false allegations

Hi,

Please listen to this: https://youtu.be/JFmMm-o_NE8

NMO does not prevent you from making enforcement application. Perhaps another person can be involved in handovers, when collecting/dropping kids?

ok thanks will take a look . I have suggested that family members help with handovers . 
I just don’t know what I should be doing now ? Appealing or waiting for hearing or contacting the court ? I have no idea 

Hi,

If you have hearing for non molestation order, then I think you should attend. If you have applied for enforcement, then can wait for hearing date. Could take few weeks to get a date.

Yes I intend to attend - my question is what should I do beforehand if anyone can advise please . The enforcement order is a separate issue and I imagine depends on the outcome of the NMO 

some  useful info here: https://www.incourt.co.uk/defending-non-molestation-applicati

Yes have read that one but still do t know exactly what I should do now - do I contact the court or wait until the hearing to present my side of things . And how would I prepare an under  taking if I was going to go down that route ? It’s worth noting that I have text exchanges between us after the alleged incident where she has contacted me about contact in a couple of weeks stating that it can’t go ahead as they are away that weekend. Not because she is intimidated and scared for her life 

@dadofone98 hi, can you check your court papers and see if it asks you to prepare a statement? if not then usually you attend court on the date, listen to the judge. if your unsure of anything, you can ask judge for explanation. you can tell the judge what you decide to do in person, accept the non-mol, accept an undertaking, or you plan to contest the non-mol.

Ok no it doesn’t ask me to anything apart from attend via Microsoft teams on the given date . I don’t know whether to contest or do the undertaking . This is going to be very difficult without legal support 

You can do this on your own.  If you contest the non mol, the Judge will ask her to prepare a Scott schedule with a limited number of accusations, usually about five.  There is a column for you to explain your side of things.  Once that is done, there will a hearing to decide whose evidence is the most plausible.  That will be several months away.  However, the Judge will make the order in the meantime.  You can offer undertakings along the lines of the non mol ie no contact but this can be except for child contact arrangements.  The non mol can be made on 'no findings of fact' which means that the court neither believes or disbelieves what she has said.  You may not want to accept a non mol if the allegations are unfounded so you can offer to accept undertakings.  Make sure that the undertakings  are written so you can have contact for child arrangements.  If you don't attend the non mol will be confirmed - the hearing is hydro right to object.  If a non mol is in place, it doesn't affect your right to see your child.  There are some helpful guides on the advicenow.org.uk website.

Step one. Keep calm. Family courts receive thousands of NMO with similar allegations every year. 

Read her allegations carefully. If you have sent regrettable texts respond if they have been taken out or context or if they were provoked.

There is a big difference between a pattern of verbal abuse with intent to cause offence versus out of character one-off messages.

Going forward. If she obstructs contact. Don’t argue with her. Just gather evidence and fill in an enforcement order. Don’t let her rattle you into pointless arguments that you will regret playing a role in. Furthermore don’t threaten her with legal action as it could be considered coersive or controlling behaviour.

Don’t admit to abuse. However if an undertaking is offered, you could consider accepting it as long as your only promise is to not harass, pester or threaten her. Only turn up at the house for the purpose of pre arranged handover. 

Sorry just a quick update - had an email from her solicitor now to say that she agrees for contact to continue , she will not report me for breach of an order for the purpose of handovers and she will be seeking a variation of the non molestation order to allow contact to take place .but with limited direct contact between us . Really nothing of any weight to back her application.
 I want the easiest way out of this now though  - not sure what I should do , still feeling like [censored] ☹️
not sure whether to hold off on the c79 now until this is resolved with the NMO and new varied child contact arrangements put in place. As I understand it my options are:- contest NMO and go through all of that , request to her solicitor that she withdraws NMO or accept the NMO on a no admission basis - What do you all think should be the next step ?

have started a reply to the solicitor ,she has suggested lots of things I had already suggest via email and to the solicitor . I’d be collecting him from school so the ex wouldn’t be there , I want to say I won’t have direct contact with her due to false allegations in NMO and plus eliminating and risk of little one witnessing anything at handover- she”LL have to agree to a 3rd party - I’ve made my mind up now after all this , i don’t want to see her at all in person it makes me want to throw up 🤢.