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My son's mother and I have been separated 7 years (our son is 8). Since the day we separated we have had joint custody have our child. We run a 2 week cycle, week one he stays with me Monday / Wednesday, week 2, Wednesday / Friday / Saturday / Sunday. (I have him 6 evenings compared to her 8 evenings over the 2 weeks) I also pay through the CSA via an agreement with her
Next Friday she is moving house to be closer to her parents. She has chosen a school for our son, I have viewed it and although it is ok (ofsted good) there is a school just around the corner from it that is significantly better (ofsted outstanding), she wasn't aware of the outstanding school and is now saying she doesn't have time to consider it, yet constantly claims to do everything for the best interests of our son. It may be important to note, both of us are headteachers. Do I have any say in this?
The change of school and move of house also increases the distance I have to travel to see my son making the current two week cycle very difficult and costly. I have requested two potential options of changing the evenings I have my son to make it manageable so I am not travelling each day which will impact on my work and my family I have at home. (I am engaged with a baby due soon). What do I do when we both don't agree what contact evenings I should or could have? There is currently nothing in place through court.
Finally, financially this move she is making is going to cost me considerably. Currently my parents, his grandparents, collect him from school. Due to the age of them, asking them to travel to the new school would be unfair on them. That means they will obviously see him less which will be difficult but also it means I will have to pay for after school provision which will be £100 a month as well as the travel cost increase. She has always paid for the school breakfast club facility we use out of the CSA money but she is now saying she won't pay that for the days I have him so I will have to cover those costs as well. Is she fully entitled to do all this?
I just feel at a complete loss. She keeps saying this is a positive move for all of us and I can't see how this is positive for me in the slightest. My son will be further away, the majority of time I spend with him during the week will be in a car travelling, my parents will see him less and the whole situation is going to cost me significantly more.
What can I do? I feel she can dictate and make every decision and I have to accept them if I want to see my son.
I don't know why there is a smiley face it should say our son is eight years old
Have you thought about suggesting mediation? You could discuss all these issues there.
Failing that, the only other choice is to apply through the court. If your current arrangement is court ordered, this would be for variation, if it's a private agreement, it would be for a Child Arrangement Order. If you're disputing the choice of school, that is a Specific Issue Order. If you have Parental Responsibility you have a right to be involved about education decisions. The courts don't deal with financials though & mediation is mandatory before applying.
Thank you, I do have shared parental responsibility and nothing has previously been set by court. He is due to start this new school a week on Monday. Yesterday when we supposedly went to look at it she had already arranged his start date.
I suggested mediation which she also refused to consider.
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