[Solved] Please help contact issue

Hi Dannie444,
Welcome to Dad Talk.
I can only imagine how frustrating it must feel to have the difficulties you describe about your ex, and even more difficult not seeing your daughter.
It sounds very sensible to be keeping records as you have. They might become useful to explain your experience of things to court. From what you write it appears your ex could be trying to turn your daughter against you and then use that in court.

You had a question about how court/cafcass might respond because it is your daughter saying she doesn't want to see you. I don't know but I have asked our legal experts to take a look at your post. It can take them a couple of days until they reply. Please keep checking back here for their reply.

Hi dannie,
I wondered if it might help reading other posts where their child was being turned against their Dad. I found these 2 on parental alienation.
Parental Alienation (Syndrome).
Parental Alienation.
Have you already seen them?
I hope you find some of it helpful.

Keep posting.
/orange

Thanks have read those pages and seems very similar to what I am going through. Is Parental Alienation recognised by the courts? Im finding this so hard as I havent seem my little girls for 5 months now the day I took her back she was fine and wanted to stay with me longer now she doesnt want to see me!
I just dont understand how mothers can get away with things like that surely making up a child is allergic to something and saying I tried to poison my child when I have proof she isnt, is not normal behaviour surley the courts will see this?
I beleive what her mum is doing is emotional abuse turning my child against me like this but how do I prove this in court. I have emails from her saying im a [censored] and that im one step away from losing my child! can this be used in court?
I would really appreiate any advice from anyone with similar problems thank you

Hi Dannie,
I don't have answers to your questions, but I had a look at the websites in the other posts and on the Families Need Fathers website I quickly found this line of text:

In practice however poisoning against one parent does occur, and is a genuine problem which goes strongly against a child’s best interests. This effect is being increasingly recognised in the Family Courts in the UK, which is encouraging.

and later it says:

Judges, CAFCASS staff, social workers, and others often fail to recognise parental alienation as a genuine case of significant emotional abuse, and these children may lose a loved and loving parent for a long time or sometimes permanently. This situation is often referred to in UK courts as ‘implacable hostility’ caused by the ‘controlling’ parent subjecting the child to this form of emotional abuse. This can have devastating life-long effects for the children, excluded parent, grandparents and the child’s other parent.

Now, I have absolutely no knowledge or experience of this, but it indicates to me that it would be useful if you have evidence of significant emotional abuse taking place.
I hope others reading this thread can help with their thoughts and experiences.
/regards
MrOrange

Dear dannie444

If you have not seen your daughter since August 2009 then your ex-partner is in breach of the contact order which you mention in your post. There are severe penalties for the breach of a contact order which can range from unpaid work and fines up to changing the residence over to the other parent and/or imprisonment. The latter of the two are only ordered in extreme circumstances or when repeated breaches have occurred.

Unfortunately, the only way to make the court aware of the breach of the order is to make an application back to court for enforcement. It is unclear from your post whether or not you qualify for legal aid. If you do qualify then we would recommend seeking further legal advice from a solicitor. If you do not qualify for legal aid then you can apply to the court yourself. In order to apply to have the order enforced you will need to phone your local county court and ask them to send you a C79 form. As your court order was granted in 2008 it should already have a warning notice attached which sets out the penalties of breaching the order.

You will then need to send the C79 form back to the court with the required fee for the hearing to be listed. Your ex-partner will be notified that the hearing is taking place and you will both be expected to attend the hearing.

You state in your post that you are concerned about whether or not your daughter will wish to see you due to your ex-partner’s influence. Courts have to make decisions based on what they feel is in the best interests of the child. Part of this is considering the child’s wishes and feelings. However, if what the child wants does not seem to be rational or have any basis then the court will often put in place an order which differs from what they want.

It is very unlikely that a child under the age of 10 would be found competent to make decisions regarding whether or not they see a parent and contact is almost always granted unless there is clear evidence that there will be a risk to the child if it goes ahead.

The courts and CAFCASS do recognise that a child will hold a certain amount of bias towards the resident parent especially in situations where the child has not seen the non-resident parent for a period of time. This should not be a reason for not granting contact unless it is considered that the child is competent and has rational reasons for their viewpoint.

We hope this information has been useful however if you wish to speak this through with an advisor then please call the Child Law Advice Line on 08088 020 008.

Kind regards

Children’s Legal Centre

Thank you for the answers to my questions. At least I feel at litle bit better about going back to court now. Hope fully I will get to see my daughter again soon, at least I also no that even though my ex states my daughter doesnt want to see me she is still breaking the court order in place as she would have had to go back to court for this not just break the order and not let me see my daughter. Thanks for all your help.

Hi Dannie,
I am really pleased you have been encouraged. I hope things go well for you.
Let us know how things go.
/MrOrange

update of things my ex has now started to be nice and pick up the phone and let me speak to my daughter and even apoligsed to me over the phone! coincidence were are in court in two weeks for her breaking the court order for 5months I think not . How sly and vindictive some people can be. I think she thinks this will make her look good in court just hope the courts dont fall for her lies and see right through her!

Hi Dannie,
That's really good to hear and thanks for posting - its good to hear your progress.
I hope you have a successful time in court.
Most of all I hope it is a positive step towards your daughter wanting to see you.
/orange

Another update ex has again stopped all phone contact! She is now trying to postpone court by saying she hasnt had enough time to seek legal advice shes had three months!!! She also wants it to be at another court. She has contacted csa yesterday to inform them that I have never paid her in two years when actually I have always paid her directly and can prove this with reciepts. I honestly give up I dont think I have any fight left in me what lies will she be spouting next its unreal.

Hi again Dannie

I'm sorry to hear about these latest events and that your ex has again stopped all phone contact. I know that it is utterly frustrating and upsetting and confusing for your daughter too. Do try to hang in there for your daughter's sake if you can and I hope that when you eventually get to court this will be settled so that you can regain contact with her.