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Hi, Hope this forum can support as life really up and down at present!
Moved with my partner and her kids with work 3 years ago, which distanced us both from ex's and my kids. Moved on the proviso all be happy families when we met fortnightly and holidays etc. We took all the risks and rewards together and accepted this ----- How wrong I now feel!!!
Some 12 months ago she said she didn;t want my kids near hers and so couldn't bring them down to the property we now owned. We agree a mutual arrangement whereby I see my kids near their mum every fortnight. This by and large worked, albeit hard on me travelling 6 hours, until 3 months ago when she dropped the bombshell that it wasn't still working and wants unconditional love which I don;t give!! This led to last 3 months of difficult times in understanding next steps. I presented options to her, but the only thing she wanted was me out and a date. I couldn't accept this as we needed a mutual agreement after all we moved here with her kids to be together and that for her to just throw me out on no grounds whatsoever are wrong. I am sticking to what my friends say and stop in the house no matter until we get it resolved. This is not difficult as I am emotionally blackmailed, walk on egg shells every day over her kids and everything I say being now construed a libelous. I have sought mediation and I think she has at last agreed to do this, but only still wants one thing - me out!!
We jointly own property and have drafted out terms of what we felt were sensible, but she thinks she knows the law is on her side due to her kids and can stay here until they are 18 (8 more years). However they are not my kids and she is driving this not me. I am therefore upset that I can never make a clean break like she can and live off effectively what is half of my life earnings that I would like to take for living nearer my kids again. What is the law in this respect as I have heard it is a grey area where they are not my kids and can I force a sale early?
Hi David,
As far as I am aware, as they are not your children, you are not liable for them. Are you and your partner married?
If married, then she would be able to argue the point much more readily about maintaining residence of the property.
If not married, then it is purely a matter of legal ownership. You are joint owner of the property, so either your partner buys you out at a sum you agree to maintain her residency, or the property is sold to provide you with your respective shares of the equity. This makes it a matter outside of the family courts, and (rather coldly) a financial matter.
I'm certain it isn't quite as black and white as that, but in real terms, that's the long and short of it.
If she isn't willing to mediate, then it would possibly be time to seek legal advice. Alot of firms supply first 30 minutes free for consultation, which would point you in the right direction.
Hope this helps,
BD.
Hi BD,
excellent, she isn't married to me, but I still feel there is a grey area in law where she can demand legal right to stay in the property with her kids and it is this that I am uncertain about so that the chance she stays there for a minimum 8 years free ride doesn't happen if I can help it.
thanks again
I'm with BD on this - you aren't married and after such a short time, it would be difficult to argue that you have any financial responsibility towards her children. I'd go with BD's suggestion and get a consultation with a solicitor to see what steps you can take to get the property split.
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