[Solved] Parental responsibility!

Parental responsibility....

What does it mean? (That's rhetorical by the way)

How much power (in the real world) does it give a non resident parent to have a say in important issue affecting their child?

As far as I can gather, it means very little and is a toothless concept, at least in law.

What has prompted me to post about PR?

I have PR. That is undoubtable. But the reality is that I do not have an equal say, or anywhere near that when it comes down to having a meaningful input into the important decisions that need to be made where my son's future is concerned.

Of course now I will neatly segue into an anedcote that will illustrate why I have said the above. You see, my ex consults me on absolutely nothing in respect to my son.

I see him every 2 weeks and on the weekend that I do not see him I send my ex a text message asking her how our son is. It is a prompt from me to get her to update me on our sons general wellbeing and anything important regarding his development. I miss out on the day to day stuff, and checking in weekly is way to fill in those gaps a little. The response i get you may ask. It's short and sweet and almost always amounts to "He's fine...". Thats it. That's all I get. A one line response.

Interestingly enough, since my ex knows that I have access to my son's gp records and am on the emergency list, she almost always proffers information relating to if he is well or unwell. I think she only does that because she knows that I have access to GP records so she can't hid anything from me of that nature. The thing is, knowing if my son had a cold or some similar ailment is not the same as knowing how he is developing at his nursery for example.

Anyway, fed up of being kept on the periphery, I decided to call the nursery that I was told awhile back that my son attended. I was amazed to find out upon calling that nursery that my son "didn't attend there anymore and had not done so for a while."

Would it not have been common decency for my ex to tell me that she had moved him to another nursery? There must have been a significant reason for doing so, and thus should I not have been informed?

I did find out what nursery he now attends and so I contacted them. The agreed to send me his development and progress records, without any fuss at all, and even invited me to a parents evening to meet his keyworker. I thought that was excellent. The next day I received a hostile message from my ex asking me why I had contacted the nursery and why was i "taking an interest in our son". Absolutely stupid question from her I know, but this is the mentality I deal with. Its clear that she sees me as nothing more than an inconvenience and that I should not have any part in my sons life other than what the court has granted in terms of contact.

The straightforward answer, which she is unable to see is that I have tried for sometime to keep up to date with my sons progress, and due to lack of cooperation, I have to go looking for the answers myself. If she included me in his day to day life, I would not have to go to the source. But yes, why would I take an interest in my sons development?? Very bizarre question.

So the plot thickens. I have it on very good authority that my ex has now applied to/enrolled our son in a school. The source of the info I wont mention on here as I wouldnt want my ex to see this and there be repercussions, but suffice to say I have no reason to to disbelieve this person....they have seen the forms filled out by my ex.

So yes, my ex, without consulting me at all, has chosen a school for our son to attend.

Knowing what I know, I sent my ex a text message asking her if she had applied to send our con to a certain school, or if she had shortlisted certain schools. I sent this on tuesday this week. I have the read receipt for the message, and she has not replied. Any reply that didn't match with what I know would of course be a lie on here part. I supect she wont answer me because she knows anything she says will be a lie. I really do feel the fact she saw the message and has chosen not to answer is basically a huge 2 fingers up to me.

She really has no respect for me as a person or a father. She places no value on my role as a father in my sons life. On the school form she put her partners name down as the little lads father. How sickening is that? But hye, its what I have to deal with.

So....is PR toothless concept? I can't rationally discuss with my ex to be included in these important issues. What can I do when she so flagrantly cuts me out of all aspects of my sons life other than contact?

Is it a case of grin and bear it? Is there a solution?

Thanks.

Simon.