[Solved] Overnight Contact and Courts

Hi Badgerdom,

At the moment i see my son, aged 6 months, once a week for 8 hours unsupervised. Sometimes i'd see him twice a week for that period of time. Me and my ex separated when he was 3 months and i've been seeing him consistently as i said. Prior to separation, my ex and son lived with me and was there for both of them every single day.

I've herd a lot of people say that i'd not get overnight because of his age. My worry is this, if i wait until he is a bit older, 1 and 1/2 - 2 years old, even then the courts wont grant overnight straight away because the courts seem to prefer gradual build up of contact time. I am not sure whether the time i see him now would be considered sufficient by the courts for overnight to be granted immediately? I'm now thinking if i should cut down my hours, at the moment i work full time, so that i have the chance to spend more time with my son so that when i do go to court it can be proven that i've been having frequent and consistent contact with my son............any advice?

Thanks in advance

Hi Gaby,

My daughters mother and I separated when she was 3 months old, and it took a good few months after just to get a lawyer and court organised. By the time I initially went to court I was granted a few hours on a Saturday with my daughter unsupervised. Her mother had argued that she wanted the contact to be done in a contact centre, to which i debated that a contact centre was intrusive to my time with her and that there are no historical incidents that would warrant that I would require someone watching me while bonding with my daughter. Contact centres were not issued and every saturday I would collect my daughter and meet up with my sister at her home, with her own little ones, and enjoy some quality family time.

During my conversations with cafcass I requested that they put forward a motion that would lead to me having my daughter overnight. The process came to be that a gradual increase of contact over the space of months would be suitable. It led to an entire day with my daughter on a saturday, and by the time she was 16 months, I was having her overnight from the saturday to sunday morning. Currently, the court order is for early saturday morning until sunday afternoon (4 pm).

Knowing in our minds that we are responsible parents, it is easy to want or demand everything in one go. And theoretically that is not unreasonable, however, the way the system works we must accept to a degree that this process will have to take place so as we do not appear unreasonable.

I followed the process without a hitch and it although her mother still made her claim not to allow me overnight contact, her argument had no merit and the court granted overnight contact.

Hi Gaby,

As Danjamw has said, they prefer to gradually increase the contact.
I think at 8 hours a week, or even double that some weeks, it shows the court that you are more than capable of looking after a small child for an "extended" period of time.

If it were me, I would be asking for an increase in contact, leading up to overnights. Whether that be "after a period of XYZ" or requesting a review of contact arrangements at another hearing further down the road.
In my experience, judges don't want to hear what you want, they want to see that you are thinking about the child and taking it gradually.
I would expect a timescale to overnights to be much more likely to be accepted than an outright request for them...

Having said that, i don't know all the in's and out's, and you could go in asking for overnights and get them there and then.
Alot of it comes down to the circumstances, and the judge.

As i say, my approach would be to suggest and increase of contact over 10-12 weeks, at which point contact should progress to overnights... possibly having contact on two days, one after the other, thus making overnight contact the next logical step - tying the two days together.

Just my 2 pence Gaby, obviously you know what is best for you and your child - but hope it helps 🙂

All the best,
Dom.