[Solved] Outcomes of false allegations !

I have been subject to false allegations by my ex. Proceedings began in october 2013, so we are a year into it now. The allegations surfaced before the first directions hearing, and to this date still have not been proven in or out of court.

We have had 3 hearings, with 3 different judges. I firmly refuted all allegations and even asked the judges for a fact finding hearing to resolve the issue. But not one judge has wanted to have a fact finding hearing, and all have awarded more contact at each hearing.

CAFCASS of course keep on and on that the allegations are serious - but never seem to understand that after a year not one piece of solid evidence has been provided by me ex to back up her claims.

The point here being, the judge in your case will look at what is being said and think to himself how relevant the allegation would be if proven true to how it would affect contact. Which means, sometimes there is no point having a huge finding of act hearing for days, if the allegation has no relevance to future contact. Some ex's make up loads of [censored] and sling loads of mud.

A particular allegation from my ex, one of many I might add, was that she claimed I am violent and dangerous to our son. She supports this by telling the court how I play "violent" video games on playstation 3. Its stupid right??

I mean how many males, and a lot of them fathers play video games, or watch films that have some sort of violence in it? My ex was a huge soap fan....I recall plenty of violence and moral corruption in the likes of eastenders e.t.c but i guess that doesn't count lol.

But I digress. Your ex will have to prove serious allegations. And petty ones the judge will usually ignore anyway.

Also they look at serious allegations in the context of your background. So for me, I am squeaky clean and had no problems ever with the police, local authorities e.t.c. So is it really likely that I am a violent nutter as my ex portrays? A violent nutter that has never been in any trouble before??

Judges know what to look for, so that's a positive. And always remember the burden of proof is on the accuser to prove the allegation. If they cannot discharge the burden of proof, allegation gets chucked out.

In terms of police, I have had the police called on me for allegedly harassing my ex. I live 250 miles way from her by the way. But yeah she called the police on me and they sent the met round to my house to warn me. I complained to the police force in her area, and provided evidence to them to show my ex was lying again. They confirmed to me that they were satisfied no harassment took place.

It's sad that these ex's have to resort to such petty [censored], but you just have to keep your nose clean, don't give them any ammo, and you will be fine.

Going back as well to before my final hearing, when I was making the bundle, the ex's solicitor tried to get me to submit witness statements from 3 of my ex's work colleagues as evidence against me. I refused of course because they did not have the permission of the court to include these things. But it's crazy really that my ex was trying to use these people to give evidence about me in relation to DV. 2 of them I didn't even know and had never met in person. The other one I met like 2 times in 2 years.

They will try anything to smear your name....but again, judges will look for evidence that objectively helps them make a decision about what is in the child's best interests. A good judge will not allow proceedings to descend into a farce or a circus sideshow.

Simon.

Thanks very much for the above mate... its amazing what these ex's will put us through just so they can control and deprive kids of there fathers !

The things that kinda worry me in my situation ... is that my most recent ex who i finished with just a number of weeks ago ( she is preganat and yeh i ended things cos we were not getting on ) now contacts my other ex that ive had all the problems with ( even tho they have never met each other or had contact until i ended things with my recent ex ) with false allegations and have took to court to see my kids etc .. and has now took a leaf out of her book and has tried to label me as punching her on the hip in bed and telling her i was gona jump on her belly while pregnant !

All evil horrible lies , no witnessess... just another pissed off angry girl who cos i dared end things with her .. she now teams up with my other ex and its double trouble i have to contend with !

Plus the ex who i took to court, now says she has witnesses to me hitting her but its two of her best mates and her little sister ... by christ what i know of her mates and her little sister .. they will say anything to back her lies as they all know im fighting to stay in my kids lives ... surely they cant be classed as objective witnesses ?!!!

All this boils down to is woman that ive ended things with cos i didnt feel the relationships were working .. now turn round, team up and try everything and anything to keep me out of my kids lives .. both born and unborn !

Ive never been in trouble but the police arrested me and i had to spend the night in the cells and was bailed cos of these sick lies .... so it makes me think that the police think there is something in it .... or maybe im looking at it wrong and the police were only doing what they have to do and the final call if this goes to court with be the prosecuter fiscal ?

My EX said in court that I was a violent individual and had been in various fights throughout my life and she said "just take a look at his broken nose" that's proof that he is violent and he should never be allowed to be a father to his children.

Cool as you like I said "I dived in the swimming pool the wrong end when I was 18" The Judge actually burst out laughing and said "well you won't be doing that again mr Slim will you?" lol

Another classic was at the last hearing she come flying in the court room late with some pictures she had downloaded off my DJ page of when I was DJ'ing in Ibiza she went over and slapped them on the Judges desk and said "Look at them theres proof he has been to the drug capital of the world, that drug addict should never see the Girls" He turned round to me and said "looks like you had a good time Mr Slim did you enjoy DJ'ing out there?" I replied yes it was fantastic I've always wanted to play in the DJ capital of the world and I think I will be an inspiration to my Girls and show them there's more to life than a life on benefits. They loved that, my EX's face was a picture 🙂

Obviously the criminal side and the civil side are two different things.

If the police arrested you and bailed you, then I suppose they will make a decision if they can prosecute you based on the available evidence. If they have nothing but spurious claims of hostile family members, then they may just drop the matter.

You see, a lot of ex's are coached into doing this to the father, because of course things outside of family court carry over into family proceedings. When you go for contact with your kids via court, they check your police record. If CAFCASS check your records and see you were arrested, you bet your bottom dollar that goes in the report to court.

The ex has now tarnished your reputation to to cafcass and the judge. But if the police closed the matter due to lack of evidence then you can show that in court and is hows your ex as making up lies. The judge would most likely ignore the allegation then.

I think when ex's get friends and family involved to corroborate allegations by telling lies, they are walking on dangerous ground. Because telling lies in court is perjury. Perverting the course of justice is very serious. If your ex tries to use these friends in family court to back up her lies by telling more lies, then insist that they submit witness statements on oath and that they are available to attend any court hearing to be cross examined. Get a good barrister or mckenzie friend, sort out cross examination questions, and roast them in front of the judge. They won't be so smart then.

I found my ex [censored] herself when she knew I had a barrister for the final hearing. Didn't have the guts to get in the witness box. Says it all really. I was so scared of being cross examined, but I would have gone through [censored] on the day to prove my innocence.

I know all about family making allegations too. Ex's dad told cafcass that during a contact session with my son when my mum came along too, I assaulted my mum, and he witnessed it. He was too thick to realise that the truth would come out when my mum, the supposed victim told the truth and confirmed to cafcass that nothing like that happened at all.

But low and behold cafcass were not interested in the truth lol. Figures right??

But yeah, allegations are allegations. They are hurtful and problematic, they slow things down, they make life miserable, but they have to be proven, I n my case, they were never proven, and now I get contact with my little lad on my own.

I think the key is, they use the allegations to provoke you into actually doing something that would give credence to the allegation in the first place. There have been many times when I have been angry about what my ex and her dad have done, and deep down I have wanted to tell her where to go, but I never have because I know it supports all the bad things she says. So I just smile and take any [censored] on the chin.

After a while you get kinda numb to it all, and what they do doesn't really affect you so much. In the beginning, being accused of all bad things is a shock and you don't know how to deal with it. But after a year of experiencing all the [censored] from her, and me never reacting, I think she has got bored of it all to a certain degree and moved on to other things lol.

Simon.

Thats the best way do deal will her do not react to anything they can't handle it lol 🙂

Thanks very much goes for the advice and sharing what you have went through yourselves ! 😉

Guess we have to go through it to get to it 😉

Hopefully next year will be the end of it as they will have nothing else to throw at me once i come out the other end of this [censored] thats getting thrown my way now !

What fools they are if they think us fathers are gona give up ....and once i have my name cleared its gona be in black and white that there lies they told about me were shown just to be that and its all the proof i will need in years to come to show the kids that there dad went through [censored] so we wouldnt lose each other .. then its the mothers that get the hit with the big karma stick from there very own kids for there disgraceful behaviour when the kids were younger and didnt know any better !

You'll find once the ball starts rolling that the false allegations calm down 🙂

Im a mum and Ive had a few against me, beating my kids, throwing one down the stairs, harassing the ex, kicking his door in whilst I was actually at work!
Nothing much ever came of it, Ive been issued with a PINS notice and been investigated by social services, currently am again after he accused my partner at weekend of hitting my son, again, didnt happen, police and social services have both spoke to my son and hes been honest. What gets me is why he hasnt been done for wasting police time yet?