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Hi guys,
My ex-wife is putting an enforcement proceedings against me so that i do not bring anybody or (mainly family members) during the drop off and handover of my toddler son. I have been through the court process and won my case against all the allegations of abuse etc where she has lost all credibility and contact has progressed considerably within 6 months in that i have him now every weekend overnight.
we have moved away from a contact centre and carry out the exchange at a local swimming baths in the communal area. the order states:
"unless the mother consents, the father shall be responsible for collection and return of the child and shall do so without other members of his family being present"
She has began ignoring meeting at the communal area and has proceeded to walk towards my car to collect or drop off my son. Bearing in mind i park 100yrds away from her vehicle, and that the communal area is couple of 100 yards from the car park. Considering she was the one stating she does not feel comfortable coming near me. on one occasion i had no vehicle as it was in at the garage and so got a family memeber to take me to drop off my son. She began walking towards the car only realising me coming out of the passenger seat this time. She made a fuss about no one being present when i did the exchange, which no one other than myself, her and child were. I said there isnt you dont have to worry.
Although i realise the court order says what it says but i see it in that it does not stop anyone being present in a vehicle that is parked distance away from her which she herself comes towards , i could have a freind, new partner, new wife etc.. but i make sure no one is present during our exchange.
She has filed an enforcement order to state that i have bought my father with me who has mental ilness, and he came out and began intimidating her (which is a lie ) and went to the police to report this. She has not stopped contact though. I find this enforcement quite comical, i dont take anyone with me regardless but its requesting that i attend court in a couple of weeks.
We did the exchange today and i parked further than normal in car park and i sat in the communal area to watch when she turns up. Like i expected she couldnt see my car and moved to a location closer to my car. she brings out my son and runs towards my car to check my vehicle (again not the first time she has done this). As much as i was inclined to say what are you doing looking in my car when she bought my son i chose not to do so. She had this stupid smerk on her face which i could only tell said 'i have control over you'.
Im inclined not to even waste my time to attend the court firstly because of work commitments, and secondly i will deny it and they will probably enforce it anyway which is not even a slap .
Anyway should there be a way i should behave towards her as much as i want to be civil, she is taking the mick by being civil but like a tw@t also coming towards me and my car at every given chance. I dont want anything to do with her or even engage in convo with her unless its about our son. She has first notice of harassment against her and im inclined to report her so she keeps her distance,
any advice wat i should do?
Ok, if the enforcement order requests that you attend the court, then I would strongly advise that you do attend. If you don't your ex is going to tell the court that you are not taking the order or the authority of the court seriously, and they may well be inclined to believe her if you aren't there.
Does the order actually state that the handover is in the communal area? If so, then I think you are probably OK (though if the court says you aren't then apologise to the court and say it was a misunderstanding on your part). If it doesn't then your ex may have a stronger argument. If you do insist on taking someone with you, then leave them in the car and walk to the communal area to wait for your ex - that way you are sticking to the letter of the order.
Thanks actd.
The order states "unless the mother consents, the father shall be responsible for collection and return of the child and shall do so without other members of his family being present"
They have been present one occasion when i got a lift to drop my son off as my car was at the garage for usual maintenance. She approached the vehicle as I was seen getting out of passenger side with my son. At no point did anyone approach her, get out the vehicle, as she is making out.
My understanding as the point above is only i am to be present during the collection and handover of our son, with no one else conducting the exchange on my behalf or being present with me during the exchange. It does not say anything about who should or should not be present in the vehicle with me when i am going to the place of collection and handover. She chooses to come towards my vehicle which is 100yards or so parked away from hers.
I will attend i just want to know how to address the complaint to the police which is a lie?
From what you have said, if you turn up early and walk to the meeting point, then I would say you are OK (after all, it is not unreasonable that you might need a lift). However, if she turns up and you are still in the car, then it isn't unreasonable for her to come to you, so you are then not complying with the order. Basically, you really don't want to be pushing the boundaries as a court will not take too kindly to that. With respect to the past contact, I would be inclined to apologise to the court and say it was a misunderstanding, and that it won't happen again.
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