Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi There,
The relationship between my partner and I has been under a lot of pressure recently and we have had a lot of problems but we have both been working at them and recently celebrated our 2 year anniversary so it seemed that things were on the mend. She then informed me that she no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me as she felt that it wasn't working and she is no longer in love with me. This came completely out of the blue and she made no effort to talk things through, she now expects me to leave the house we have been living in and leave our 18 month old son with her as well.
She is in full time education and only receives benefits and I am working full time so I cannot understand how she thinks she will be able to fully support our child as he has been by me. I pay for all outgoings and she only contributes a percentage towards his childcare and pays her own mobile phone contract, the money she should have left over seems to disappear and she cannot account for it whatsoever.
I then discovered, via the demon that is Facebook, that she has been having an affair for at least the past two months and to make matters worse the person she has been cheating with has been staying at our house, in our bed while my son is there! She has been sleeping with him and she has been secretly meeting him each time she has been going out with her friends and also staying at his house with our son!
In light of this, I do not see why I should be forced out of the house and made to leave our son with her as I feel that although she is a good mother she is not putting our son's best interests first and is only thinking about herself and what she wants. I would therefor like to apply to the courts for full custody of our child and need as much help and advice that I can get as I have never been through anything like this before.
As you can imagine it is a very difficult and painful time for me at the moment and I am looking to get the ball rolling on this ASAP so any help and advice would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks,
Darren.
Hi Darren and welcome on here
This is pretty painful in all respects at the moment. I'm not sure what the situation is with respect to the house, so I would suggest that you have a word with the Citizens Advice Bureau as our legal experts aren't able to advise on property law. With regards to the custody, I would suggest that you first read yoji's guides at the top of the legal section, as these will give you a good deal of information about the custody and procedures.
Can I ask if you have a solicitor at the moment? If not, then the CCLC are able to give an opinion on the custody on here should you so wish.
Hi ACTD,
Thank you and yes extremely painful at the moment, I've already spoken with my local CAB and they gave me some information and are sending me more in the post. I then spoke to my housing officer as we live in a houding association property and he said that she can't make me leave and I can't make her leave, it is a joint tenancy do it would need to be a mutual agreement as to who stays and who goes so that the necessary paperwork can be drawn up.
I will read yoji's guide as you have recommended and I don't have a solicitor as of yet but I will be speaking to one tomorrow but if the CCLC can offer any advice it would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks,
Darren.
Hi Darren
Sorry it's taken me a couple of days to get back here. If you have engaged a solicitor, then unfortunately, the CCLC are not permitted to give advice on here, so can you clarify the position?
Are the housing association able to offer two small houses instead of the one you are in at the moment on the basis that the situation can't continue indefinitely and you will want staying contact? I would think (but I'm not certain by any means) that they would be more able to negotiate something like this while you are currently a tenant with them.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
