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Have you considered applying for residency on the basis that the mother is unable to attend to the children’s psychological needs and is likely to cause them long term damage due to her attitude ?
I’m not saying you’d get it, not easily anyway, but in these type of intractable cases, the real prospect of loosing the child might be the only thing that makes the offending party see sense.
sounds like the mother needs a psychological assessment due to her own anxiety problems
Don't get me wrong kennymac, asking for a change of residence is something that you are unlikely to be successful at, and if you do go for it, you need to be 200% prepared for it. You need to be able to explain where the children would live (have you got enough rooms for them), how you would conciliate work/childcare, what kind of support network you have in place (perhaps family members, or a different partner?), how/when they would see their mother, and that's probably just the tip of the iceberg.
The reason I mention it is because at the end of the day, you are their father, and no one else is going to do your job which is to do the best for your children. There is plenty of research out there showing that children who are denied a loving parent grow "hollow" and often suffer for life, and ultimately your ex ( and you too ) need to understand that message if you are going to raise good healthy adults.
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