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I am not sure if I am allowed to post a link, so if moderators would like to remove it then please do.
Its a long article relating to fathers who have won custody/residency
Then, 18 months ago, the couple went head to head in court to fight for custody.
'Though Mark had not returned to work and was living with his parents in Gloucestershire, the judge ruled it was a more favourable environment for the children than living with a career mother,' says Karen.
'He lives in a council house on benefits. I'm speechless that the courts feel this is a better environment for my children to be raised in than living with a parent who has a strong work ethic and a lovely home.'
OK - HOW DID THEY DO IT?
Things are improving, the link you provided is almost 10 years old... my own son has court ordered custody of my grandson, he's been with us for the last seven years now. There are a a small minority of forum members that have also been successful too.
Generally though, courts prefer to leave children with their mother, even when there are signs of neglect, preferring to try and resolve such issues with closer support and management from Children Services.
Undoubtedly, the children are the courts only priority, they will make decisions based on what they believe is in the child's best interests, that's why how you come across is so important, if they see bad mouthing of the other parent, they may assume this is malicious...it's a fine line and it's better just not to go there, even if it's warranted... this is the time you have to control all aspects of the person you are portraying to outsiders. It's often the case that the more reasonable you can become, the more antagonistic the other parent will be... often showing their true colours to the court.
As I said before, concentrate on yourself and build your case from that.... imagine if you were the judge/childcare professional, what you would want to see from the parties and act accordingly... be your own advocat!
I think I was in such a place of grief and turmoil that it was hard to consider anything other than what was right in front of me.Thank you for the advice/support. It really has helped. Things right now are as bad as they can be, but it will get better. I will get better. As you say, I cannot control their actions but I can control my own and focus on my children's wellbeing . Its so easy to get stuck "in the moment" but I will not be judged on this year, but all their years.
We had a nice house, nice cars, business that would have provided for all of us with minimal effort. She has that now. But I have the future and none of that stuff really matters if I become the best dad I can be !
Thank You !
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