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My wife moved out with our 2 kids 2 months ago, she claims I am emotionally abusive. I don't want her back, I just want to move on from the whole thing.
I am still living in 'our' house which is in my name only but is a 4 bed house so I guess will have to be sold at some point.
My ex is constantly (like at least an email a week) on at me about:
- getting a valuation on the house
-selling the house
-paying child maintenance
-when I see the children
The problem I have is I am really struggling financially. With paying the mortgage and all bills on the house plus my petrol to work which is £100 a week, I am left with not enough money for food. So I don't know how I'm meant to get the house ready for selling or afford the petrol to see the kids (15 miles away). I certainly can't afford a solicitor for legal advice.
I have been paying £200 a month maintenance and I was seeing the kids fortnightly but I stopped it cos I can't afford it and was so sick of her going on about the house. Clearly she just wants me on the street homeless so she can get her share of the money - while she sits comfy in a nice rented house.
She has opened a case with the child maintenance people and they say I should be paying £350. Well bully to them, I can't afford it. My ex is not happy though, she wants mediation to move forward, she says it's apparently 'not good enough' to say I'll get the house on the market/see the kids when I can afford it. Apparently she will agree to less maintenance if I get the house on the market sooner. Well I told her to take me to court.
Personally I would take her to mediation to sort everything thru them and then if you both agree on things take it to court to get it finalised and legalised. I would ask for as many free hours as you can get with solicitors this will help you and even ask about transferring the deeds to house to the children so the house cannot be sold.
If either of you want to take the other to court regarding the children, Mediation is now mandatory before making an application. At Mediation you can discuss finances and contact. It might be worth attending as you possibly might be able to reach agreement on all the issues without the need for legal action.
I'm afraid I can't comment on finances in detail as I have little experience of this, other members will and sure will answer this post. It might be worth speaking to the CAB though to see if there is anyway you can reduce the amount you're paying in the short term so that you could free up some money to have contact with the children.
How is your relationship with your children? It's important to remember that it's not their fault you have separated and they're likely to be affected by what's going on. IMO if you don't make efforts to see them now and you do end up in court , not making an effort to see them now for the reasons you have stated, would not look good on your part.
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