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I am hoping you can help me with my case and give me some advice.
My son was born in 06 and I was married to his Mother. Unfortunately the relationship broke down and we split up when he was 6 months old, we divorced when he was 2 years old. It was always a struggle to gain access to him as he and My ex live in Berkshire and I live in in Yorkshire, but I was always willing to go down whenever possible, however she would go out, or cancel at the last minute and basically so everything to make sure I couldn't see my son.
So I hired a solicitor with legal aid (which was available at the time) and tried to start mediation but it was impractical due to the distance so I went to court. I was granted a court order with the penal attachment for access to my son every school holiday and one weekend every month. At first she stuck to the order but she met another man and got pregnant to him, so that's when I started getting pushed out. She would cancel more and more times i was meant to see him, make excuse after excuse and her and her new partner became increasingly hostile towards me until she stopped all contact with me all together 5 years ago.
She moved house and refused to give me her address until this year, ignores all phone calls apart from occasional times when she allows me to speak to my son on the phone for 2 minutes around 3 times a year. I was recently in London last week and gave her around a months notice, but she said although she was happy for me to come across and see him, her partner said no and forbid it. Every day that goes by kills me not seeing my son, I miss him with all my heart and I am a brilliant Dad, I just want the chance to show it. I can't afford the ridiculous fees solicitors charge, I would sell everything I have but it still wouldn't be enough! Thanks for reading this and I look forward to your reply.
Hi Andy
I'm sorry to hear you're having such trouble seeing your son, especially as you actually have a court order in place. It's a pity that you didn't seek legal advice at the time she stopped contact, or even before, as you would have been told that you could apply for an enforcement order.
How long ago did she move and not inform you of her whereabouts? This is important as if you were to apply for enforcement of the order the court would want to know why you've left it so long without taking any action. If you didn't know where they were that would explain your situation.
Many Dads here find themselves in your situation, unable to afford a solicitor, but it is possible to self represent and many have done this with much success. We can advise and support you if you decide to go forward with it.
As you would be applying for an Enforcement order you dont need to attempt mediation first. You would need to submit form C79 to the family court where your ex lives and there is a charge for this, I think it's £215. If you are on a low income or any benefits you may be entitled to a part or full exemption from the fee and you would need form EX160a to apply for it.
If you are subjected to any hostility you have the option of involving the police, the partner has no right to dictate terms to you and it's your sons right to have a good relationship with you.
If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask. It might also be helpful for you to attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, where you will get face to face advice and support from others in a similar situation. Here's a link to their website
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
You may have noticed that I edited your initial post and deleted the references to names and places, as this is a public forum its much better to remain as anonymous as possible, especially if you intend to return to court.
Best of luck
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