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Hi I'm wanting some advice I've recently broken up with partner and we have a 5 month baby girl, I had my own flat but spent a good majority of time at her sister who lives with her partner and 2 kids and another sister lives there, I was been emotionally and mentally abused by all the family for the time I was there and if I wanted out I was threatened with never seeing my daughter, I left the environment 2 weeks ago as I was suffering mentally and it wasn't healthy for me to live, I asked my ex partner to come but she wants to stay at her over over crowed mums.
I have a good supportive mum and step dad who have always been there for me I also suffer from ADHD and Autism, I asked to see my daughter and was told no the only way was that I came to her sister house for supervised visit? I did not agree and didn't feel that it was apprioate to spend quality time with my daughter in that environment, I went to see a medaeator the other day and they had asked for my ex to come, she declined and had seen a solicter so saying that she wasn't coming reasons where that I had emotionally abused her? This is a lye and the accusations are not true, it's me that suffered, again she said I could only have supervised access.
I now have appointment with a solicter and court paper work, I'm so upset and concerned and that I'm not getting to see my daughter while this is taking place, does anyone understand the process and time frame and what to do about her accusations about me and cost as I'm on a low income.
Also I took all my daughter equipment up to her sister house (I've not asked for them back) I have proof that I purchased all baby stuff as I need for my daughter if I get access in the flat, if anyone can help I would appreciate I'm 21 years old and going out my mind that I'm unable to see her or my mum.
Thank you for reading
Hi,
Best option is to apply for C100 - children arrangement order. Means you would have to go to court.
I made mistake and got solicitors to complete form. Save your money - this org will do it for you for free -
Check their site for office local to you. They give great advice. All free
Mediation people should be able to sign you off, to apply for c100, as your ex refused mediation.
Hi
Thanks for reply, booked mediation last Friday unfortunately my ex wouldn't come and got a solicter and to add hurt said that I've emotionally abused her ( I had to live the majority of my time at he sisters and boyfriends and 2 kids also her other sister lives there) just so I could see my little baby, it was me that was been emotionally abused that why I left, hurts.
My ex is wanting supervised visits at her sisters house I said no, as I don't want to be in that environment it's not healthy ( they all smoke in front of my baby aswell, just found out they have given her an asmatha pump (not good)
The mediation lady told me not to worry as the truth will come out and gave me C100 form? Thanks for link as I'm struggling to understand (dyslexia) my mum helps me out, so your advice helps loads.
Thanks
thats so horrible about the baby and the asthma pump, if i were you, I would complain to social services about this.
I'm going to contact them as I'm really worried and thanks for the link looked at it I'm going to drop in tomorrow see if they can help me thanks
Hi Locky
You could also think about attending a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, where you’ll meet others in a similar situation and get some face to face advice and support. Here’s a link to their website where you’ll find a list of meetings nationally, hopefully there will be one near you.
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
It’s good that you can rely on your mum and step dad to support you, we will do what we can to advise and support you too. If you have any questions, you only have to ask.
All the best
Just an update court papers handed in and going to do online courses that will support me in caring for my daughter as a single dad, I think if I have a tool box of skills for my daughter when I'm allowed access can only be good for me and her.
I will look up the link for support groups and I'm seeing a solicter next week for free half hour and see what what they say I should hear from the court in around a month? It's just a waiting game now.
Miss my little loads but I have to keep going for me and her to carry on with the relationship we had before I wasn't allowed access, I've put all I can in place and I'm accessing services for my mental health and GP as sleep is not good at minute.
Thank you for your help its supported me in the process very grateful as a young single dad with ASD it's been a challenge, my little girl is my heart and no one is taking that away so onwards and upwards for the future, just a wait now.
Hi, you mentioned doing online courses. thats good. but try to avoid any further costs for now. during my court process, cafcass ordered me and ex to take SPIP separated parents course. they referred it so i did it for free. as for sleep issues, i would recommend exercise, like a nice run in the park or gym. every now and then sleep issues drive me nuts. after 2 days of bad sleep, i drop dead and get some decent sleep.
Hi
Thanks for the comments, it's called a triple p course I'm doing online as not good in groups and it's free so that helps
I'm going to join a gym as it as a pool aswell and I can take m daughter to learn and play with me, I've found someone to go with so induction booked and see if that helps.
My sleep bad due to my ADHD / ASD always as been to be honest so hopefully the gym will help me.
Thanks
That’s really good Locky, the courts like to see parents being pro active and showing how seriously they take the role of parenting.
We often recommend our members use exercise, as way to deal with anxiety and sleep problems, it should encourage your appetite too if that’s been an issue!
Talking to others will help too... all the best mate.
Thanks will let you know I was told when I get to court I will have to do a parent separation course? As any one had any experience of this?
Hi there
It’s a pretty basic course, here’s some info about it.
https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/download/4890/
They usually direct both parents to attend the course, but at different times.
All the best
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