[Solved] Non molestation order - enforcement

The captcha seems to expire constantly...

Under most odd circumstances bail ended early based on her spurious claim of having acted in self-defence and the case was initially NFA'd.
Due to previous abuse, luckily I had an audio-recording of the incident, which was forwarded to the police and pretty clear including her making further threats of physical harm, threat to kill etc.
As the audio required transcribing and translating the police has been conveniently sitting on this for a bit more than 3 months before forwarding the matter to CPS for potential prosecution. Due to having been severely traumatised including insomnia for months and indications that my ex being a full-blown narcicisst of the nastiest kind had somehow illegally got hold of personal contacts and seemed to engage in a revenge-[censored] spree with friends and others in order to turn them against me. Hence unfortunately I didn't chase police and cps enough at the time, and both conveniently dragged it out till one day!! before coming statute barred cps nfa'd it, hence making sure, one cannnot even effectivly appeal against it.
Also had not realised at the time that the incident was incorrectly classified as common assault, even though based on her intention, injuries and further threat of physical harm (including threat to kill) this should have actually been classified as Assault occasioning actual bodily harm.

After her bail ended prematurely, police advised to apply for a non mol, which was granted for 12 months (started in 2020 into this year).
At the return hearing she backhandedly manipulated court by emailing in a statement which she deliberately did not copy me in and based on her lies of being at risk the court at the hearing then also ushered me to provide an undertaking not to contact her which took me virtually half a year to find out how to get this removed as I was constantly given contradictory advice and the court ignored various applications to get this discharged/ removed as I have never been at fault in this matter.

Now finally at the most recent hearing (there have been 3 since the order was made - at the second one I was entirely bullied by a judge who notoriously talked over me and didn't even give me an opportunity to speak).
Throughout the entire procedure I was the only one providing hard facts and evidence, which has been largely ignored by police and family court, whereas my ex just relied on lies and the broken record of being 'at risk' without ever providing substantial evidence.

What's even worse, lately she initiated contact first through a third party, then directly and posted a hate-speech video online (which seemed partially targeted at me but also as she generalised it, potentially discriminating against whole sections of society).
At the most recent family court hearing it also transpired that she might have enquired with some neighbours about me recently and all of the above mentioned incidents (contact, social media publications, coming within less than 100m radius) were in breach of the non-molestation order against her.
Reported this to the police, which seemed to have turned this (again) into a kind of rubber stamping excercise and instead of arresting her on the spot now have started a lengthy investigation which makes me wonder if this isn't bordering on misfeacence in public office as clearly the non-mol states that any breaches are arrestable offences?!

However as has been mentioned here and on other sites, it seems there is a gender-specific agenda that whenever males are accused by their female ex's for alledged domestic abuse, physical and psychological then they are prosecuted with zero tolerance whereas if females are the perpetrators, they seem to be able to get away with quite a lot...

Anyway - my main questions here are the following:

- given the original assault has become statute barred, and I'm still supposed to submit an appeal via cps vrr scheme - is there any chance they will reconsider and reopen it under ABH?
- at the most recent family court hearing the judge recorded that I have withdrawn the undertaking which I was unjustly ushered to give at the first return hearing - does that mean that I am definitely not bound by this any more? Just wondering, as the Judge initially said they would include this in the order, but then only stated: 'it has been recorded that the applicant withdraws his undertaking' -
I'm still confused about the terminology surrounding undertakings as some have claimed one has to request the Court to get it discharged, others one can withdraw it etc... even solicitors have voiced contradictory opinions regarding this.
- how can I get the police to act on (i.e. arrest and charge) my ex's numerous breaches of the non-mol?
Given that breaches of a non-mol are arrestable offences without extra warrant - isn't the police under an obligation to arrest (it mentions somewhere - cannot recall if on cps website or college of policing that a suspect can be arrested even under the credible suspicion of a breach) - i.e. if one has presented hard and fast evidence to the police and they have recorded this on witness/victim statements - shouldn't they act on it?!

1) Criminal law and how cps and police work is very complicated. I would say no to your answer and pretend your in your ex partners shoes and what they would say and do to counter- act what you are accusing them of and you maybe then realise how difficult it is. A recording wouldnt be enough for many reasons. The easiest way for a case to get to criminal court normally is if your ex admitted to doing anything which she wont have.

2) seems like you no longer have to to give an undertaking and has been discharged. Undertakings dont mean much in early proceedings

3) You are right if you was breaching a non molestation order you would of already been arrested and had major problems seeing your children. They have a much higher tolerance level with woman doing it and it takes an awful lot for police to act, its a very slow process but if they continue they do eventually clamp down on them.

I see you are now in family court . What access are you getting and how old are children you are seeking a child arrangements order for ?

Luckily no arrangements regarding kids as they are from a previous ex of hers...(who also stated once - other than child arrangements he doesn't want to have anything to do with that person...:) )

- which reminds me of the last point I forgot to mention:
At the most recent hearing of the family court the judge ordered the matter to be continued by mediation in person (during covid times??) -
& what's the point?? ... Given that she has been lying all the way so far, we have no biological children and no shared assets - why mediation? - There is nothing to be mediated really -
She has breached the non-mol and the family court should make an effort to protect the applicant.

Based on her notorious breaches of the Non-mol I applied at the family court to extend the non-mol indefinitely.
Instead the family court ignored it at the last hearing despite her breaches stating that there are still a few months left on the non-mol...

Hi

You're situation must be really challenging and difficult.

My thoughts are that in the first instance you need to get yourself a strong domestic violence support worker from a national organisation to not only support you but hold the police and cps to account and drive things forward for you. When roles are reversed, the female usually gets a support worker from women's aid or such and the police, cps are afraid of negative publicity and so take the matter seriously and very often charge and progress things. They defo will not just allow things to go statute barred and run the risk or negative national press coverage.

Mens advice line and mankind initiative are the ones to approach.

Offences that are indictable and dealt with by the Crown Court can never become statute barred and therefore you need to get a good solicitor to support you and advise on the best course of action. Often you can get a free 30 minutes with them. However, the support groups mentioned may be able to guide and help better in the first instance.

Having a domestic violence support worker at the family court also helps too to ensure matters are taken seriously and the right course of action taken rather than being dismissed. It is usually also a sign of just how serious the matter is.

All the best.

https://mensadviceline.org.uk/

https://www.mankind.org.uk/

I think you should take a break from it all. for your own sanity. if she's standing outside your house, or making nuisance phone calls, then report to police again.

I thought there was children involved when i read all your posts. If its just yourself just ignore and dont engage in any form of communication whatsoever. Keep ringing police and exaggerate if you have to so they act everytime until she stops.