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Hi all,
I’ve read some really helpful advise from other dads on here before but now I’m looking for some specific information and wondering if any if you can help me out with this...
To try and cut a very long story short, I was issued with a Non-Molestation Order (like many I’ve read about, packed to the brim of lies) November 2016 from the mother of my son - who I had not been in a relationship with for over four year, had a final contested hearing in June 2017 which, sadly without the right knowledge and legal guidance, was enforced regardless. I would like to point out that I had very strong evidence to prove many of her allegations were false, but the deciding factor seemed to have been the witness she brought - who I had never met, whereas I was there alone, representing myself.
Anyway, my 6 year old son was specifically named in the order, saying I could be a potential threat and to have no contact with him nor his mother for a year. Prior to the court order, I had regular contact with my son, every other weekend (including overnights) and every Thursday - Friday.
This whole experience completely damaged me emotionally and physically and in June, I couldn’t see any chance of anything going my way and couldn’t find the motivation to pursue anything further.
I have abided by the terms, not breaching once however on Saturday I received a long text message from her saying that our son needs his father and that she’d like to sit and discuss contact with me and is regretful of the court order. I replied to the message through my mum, avoiding any actual contact with her and we have been going back and forth through my mum since. She has now sought legal advice and been told that I am not to have any contact with her or my son.
I am trying to convince her to discharge the non-molestation order but in the mean time are we allowed to go through mediation for me to get access to my son again or does this have to be through court? I understand I can’t initiate mediation, but can she? With written consent outlining no problems with us having contact again?
I’d be very grateful for any advice on this.
Many thanks,
A desperate father!
Hi there
Because of the underlying circumstances and the fact that no contact with your son was mentioned in the NMO, I very much doubt that mediation would be appropriate.
If the mother could initiate a discharge of the existing order that would be helpful, but as you have her cooperation, you can apply for a Child Arrangements Order, you wouldn't need to attend mediation because of the NMO anyway.
Once in court it would be up to them to set in motion the various reports that would look into the safeguarding aspects of your case, but with the mother wanting contact to resume that should make it a lot easier.
If she exaggerated/lied to get the NMO she won't be punsished for back tracking, perhaps she needs that reassurance.
All the best
Thank you for your replies.
Her solicitor has now said it’s ok for my son and I to have telephone contact, so after a long time, it’s been nice to hear his voice again.
Do you think if I apply for a Child Arrangement Order that I would only be allowed contact with my son through a visitation centre because of the NMO?
because the NMO is enforced with fact of findings then its hard to say what contact would be allowed straight away because i dont know the allegations made
Cafcass would be involved and conduct a s2 report which is usually a telephone interview between you and the mother and then must definitely a section 7 maybe even a section 37 depending on the allegations in the NMO maybe
Id definitely make an application though as it takes 4-6 weeks to be allocated a date for first hearing
I'm not sure if I agree - if telephone contact has just been started, and it's her solicitor that's agreed this, not the court, then going back to court at this stage might antagonise things. I might be inclined to leave it at telephone contact for a couple of months, and then see how she would feel about contact in a contact centre and take it from there.
Thanks for all the advice, I really appreciate it.
Can you tell me what a section 7 and a section 37 is please?
I thought the same at first regarding going to court but it seems like my ex is very keen to resume contact between my son and I as soon as possible - very confusing, seeing as up until now she’s been quite happy to cut me out of his life completely!
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