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My son has been served a Non Molestation order without notice. The hearing is in 3 days. He will have to represent himself. My first question; is it right for him to offer evidence (48 hours before) that he has been to Anger management sessions and is now going to counseling for anger issues largely due to being sexually abused as a child. Should he be offering evidence that he has been fairly regularly giving her decent amounts of money? Should he be offering evidence of the large amount of contact he’s had with his son, who has been staying with him and us three days every week for the last 2 years since they separated or is that part of his position statement?
He intends to write a position statement which generally accepts her statement but rejects a view points. He will accept that he did slap her on the face (she says punch). And he will insist she is not at risk of any significant harm. All he wants is to have access to his son, he is quite happy not to see her for a year. So should he accept the allegations and hopefully the whole thing stops there? Any advice on this plan appreciated.
Along with the usual terms ie “Use or threaten, go to or enter” etc there is an order that he does not go to the childs nursery. This is the only mention of the child, but does this mean she is trying to prevent all access? All communication must be through her solicitor.
Finally as grandparents can we attempt to contact her to gain access to out grandson? We have a very strong bond with him and I am sure he is already missing us.
Thanks you very much in advance for giving your time to our problems.
I have been through this if there are witness and the police have been involved best not to contest this but try to agree to an undertaking.
If this is a one of occurance he maybe able to contest the order, but if not no case.
Talking loudly to some one is common assualt.
Best to say it was a one off occurance will not happen again will comply with the conditions of the order.
Put all of this in writting and delivery to the court before the hearing get yourself a Mackenzie friend £75 to 90 per hour.
Have a look at a C100 form as grandparents you need to be recongized as an intetested party.
Look at separated dads as well.
I am sure that others can give you better advice but know how you feel.
I'm confused between the evidence to be handed in before, and the position statement which he reads out in court which is where he apologises I thought, but your saying his admission should be written and delivered? Thanks for help.
Hi there
The hearing in a couple of days is about the non mol I'm assuming, is there an ongoing case for child contact? If not I'm not sure the judge at the nom mol would want to deal with child contact.
The fact that there was a physical attack, slap or punch, the outcome will be the same. I think as he is going to admit this happened he should accept the order, I doubt an undertaking would be offered.
I'm not going to lie to you, the fact that your son has used physical violence against his ex will make getting contact much harder. The fact that he has attended anger management and is having counselling is good but I doubt it will change anything in the short term. He will have to jump through many hoops to satisfy the court.
I suggest he prepares a brief position statement, in it he can mention that he has undertaken anger management and that he has the evidence with him to support that, if the court wishes to have sight of it. As a position statement is meant to be a short two page statement, attaching evidence to it isn't permitted, but mentioning any evidence that he has in support of his case in the statement and having that evidence with him is ok.
If the nursery is used to dealing with him and it's part of the child's routine to have him pick the child up, he could ask the judge to review this particular direction. Whilst he had been violent to the mother, if there's no evidence that he is violent with anyone else he should point that out and reassure the court as much as possible that he is no risk to his child or the nursery staff.... he can try.
He could ask the judge in court if his parents could facilitate and supervise contact, being the third party with his ex, hopefully she will agree to that. Make the point that he is used to being with you all three days a week and that routine has been in place for 2 years, keep it child centred and talk about how closely bonded the child is with his father and wider family members.
I fear your son will have an uphill battle to get the same level of contactif the mother doesn't want it. That said, with a lot of time and effort, he may be able to get things back on track.
All the best
There is no ongoing case for child contact at the moment, just this one provision in the non mol for the nursery, the child finished nursery education last week, so its all a bit odd. Thanks so much for your help, very clear advice.
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