Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi guys,
I am looking for some advice here, today I have been served with a non-molestation order from my ex. As usual it was packed with lies about violence, my ex had me arrested last year on false accusations and the police took all my devices and investigated them over a period of 4 months whilst I was on bail. They took No Further Action as there was no proof to take the case further,
Me and my ex have got on over the past year and been in and out of a relationship since our daughter was born 1 year ago. Now things have turned sour because she knows our relationship is over, she has went to the police and accused me of assault by pushing her on a night out back in March this year. The police are currently investigating it. Now she has also taken out a non-molestation order that states I cannot contact her or anything like that until December 2017.
The problem is I live in London and she is in the North East, and the court hearing is due to take place next Tuesday and I simply cannot get time off work. The order states she wants contact to be in a contact centre only and I don't want to undertake this, because I am not guilty of anything and have proof from police they took NFA with her allegations. The social services were also involved and informed of everything and they have even told me the case is now closed and I do not need supervised contact.
Please can someone with experience in this situation help me out? She has put me through [censored] in the past and continues to do it now things are going to court. Will a solicitor from the North East be able to represent me in court in regards to the non-molestation order?
Thanks guys.
Hi There,
.
Sorry you are having these issues, I don't have as much experience as others, but from what I have read in other posts it could be that now there is a new Non Mol order that the judge may want to suspend the case so that it can be handled first.
.
If you aren't able to attend the next court hearing contact the court asap and inform them, they may be able to set a new date so that you can attend and defend yourself.
.
Sorry I can't be of any further help, others will be online throughout the day so keep checking back for answers.
.
GTTS
Hi there
Is the court hearing next week for you to respond to the Non mol, or for a Child Arrangements Order for contact with your child?
As there is a fresh allegation that the police are currently investigating, I would write to the court and ask for them to adjourn until they have made their decision. Say that you wish to contest the allegations but having tried to get time off work, this has been refused. You must let them know asap if you cannot attend.
Regarding the contact centre, a court are very likely to go with this, whilst there are domestic violence allegations going on, they will not take the risk where children are concerned and will always apply caution.
You can instruct a solicitor from the North east to represent you, they may be able to do that in your absence....the best thing to do is to call one and have a chat about it.
Best of luck
Thanks for the reply guys.
I have an update from the police and they have now closed the case in regards to the assault allegation. So they have shut that. I had a solicitor represent me in court on Tuesday, my ex was there and I instructed the solicitor to say that I do not agree with my ex's allegations, and I do not want the non-mol in place, however, I will do an undertaking. My ex refused this point blank though and said no she does not want this.
My ex only wants me to have contact in a contact centre, only a month ago me and my ex were absolutely fine and got on better than ever. Now CAFCASS will of course become involved and will get a statement from both of us. As much as my ex has hurt me with all these allegations and court orders, I don't want to go and start badmouthing her off to CAFCASS, I think it will look bad on me and it'll be childish. I feel like being honest and saying our relationship wasn't perfect, but we had some great times together, which is the truth. What do you guys think?
I have spoke to my solicitor today and she is now advising me to use a barrister for the final hearing in regards to the non-mol. I earn about £18,000 a year, I don't get legal aid and paying for a solicitor with family help is one thing, paying for a barrister is a whole new level.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.