[Solved] NMO fact finding tomorrow

If there was 3 weeks or more before the hearing, I would also suggest it's always worth writing to a court. However, with only a fortnight to go and the mother's behaviour so far there is very little point and will probably save anguish.....

Thank you justdad and Yoda, really helpful advice.
Much appreciated

Hi,
I emailed the district judge this morning to inform them off non compliance with interim contact from mother.I have now received an email from my sons mums solicitor(see below)

We understand from our client that regrettably the planned visit on Saturday did not go ahead. We are instructed by our client that the reason is that CHILD emphatically refused to go to the park despite her continuing to tell him to meet you and he was crying and visibly upset. Our client had every intention of the visit taking place but short of physically dragging him to the park, there was little she could do to force him. We believe that a far better arrangement would have been for you to collect him from school on the Friday which would mean that he would not be leaving his home to go to you but you would be collecting him from school which might have made the arrangement run more smoothly. Our client believes that because the Court hearing was on Thursday, that there was not sufficient time for CHILD to get used to the idea of seeing you. Our client believes that there is more chance of her being able to make CHILD see you this coming Saturday (15 December) at 12 noon from the park and she will have to ask someone to bring him to at least half way to meet you. We are aware that the Judge was anxious that 2 visits take place before the next hearing. If this next one goes well if you agree to a visit this coming Saturday until Sunday, then our client will agree to another visit the following weekend from Saturday to Sunday.

Now from my point of view, in section 7 report CHILD has said he has asked to see me previously but his mother said if he does he cannot come back.. NMO has now been discharged on 29.11.18. I also texted her at 12.20 asking if CHILD was turning up or not and there was no reply. At 12.35 I texted her again saying I was disappointed sons mum had not complied with order-no response.
I do not want to respond to this email and make a mistake as I want again to show in court her inability to be child focused.

Should I clarify to her solicitor at this time that she did not respond to texts and I have already emailed judge?. What do people think is the best response?. Of course primarily I want to see my son this weekend..

I get why you emailed the court, but the fact that things change can often be another reason not to be reactive in contacting the court when a hearing is so close. You don't want to get the judge's back up.

Don't get bogged down in a lengthy reply to the solicitor. There really is no point.

I guess the best thing to say is that you will attend handover on Saturday and make them aware that in light of her no show on Saturday, you had already emailed court this morning. You need to send a copy of the email you sent to the judge to the mother's solicitor anyway because anything that is submitted to proceedings needs to be sent to all parties.

Personally I wouldn't comment on the remaining content of the letter as you will be at court in a fortnight. What's most important right now is the contact resumes.

It's certainly a situation where you need to tread carefully.

Regardless of the child's reactions or wishes, an order is in place and it has been breached. The solicitor knows this and would appear to be trying "damage limitation".

As Yoda says, the most important thing here is to get contact moving and if more is offered to replace the lost contact, take it. The Court want to see you working together towards the best interests of the child.

The solicitors email will be useful as they are suggesting their proposed arrangements would be better than those Ordered by The Court so do make sure you have a copy of it to hand should you need to use it in future.

Forward the email you sent the judge on to the solicitor and say, notwithstanding the above, you are keen, as they seem to be, to have two contacts under your belt before the next hearing.

Ultimately, they now know that you will not let any breach pass without the Court knowing about it AND that you are prepared to compromise where compromise is offered,

Aside from the heartache of the missed contact, it would seem to me that you have progressed your case a little here.

Thanks yoda and justdad, that is really helpful one again. I would be lost without your support, thank you

You are doing great. When you're in the thick of it emotionally, it's very difficult. Get the contact going and take everything else up in the hearing......

Hi All,

There are a couple of new issues/points.

Firstly, the school family worker emailed me late today and informed me that my sons mum has been referred to the education welfare officer, which is good news,. I have been sent the education welfare officers phone number so i could call her tomorrow.

The second point is that i have noticed factual errors in my sons mums solicitors email, so i wanted some further advice before i respond. i do not want to make a mistake.

The solicitor says that "there is more chance of her being able to make CHILD see you this coming Saturday (15 December) at 12 noon "- this Friday will be 7th December, Not 15th.

Also "If this next one goes well if you agree to a visit this coming Saturday until Sunday, then our client will agree to another visit the following weekend from Saturday to Sunday.

The judge made the interim contact order for Saturday 1st December until Monday, drop off at school, with the same interim contact on Saturday 15th at noon until Monday drop off at school.

The solicitors and sons mum are either being manipulative or maybe because their case is legal aid they are just being totally inept and have no idea of what the interim contact order is.

I just want to make sure i address this but without being aggressive. It feels like slowly the wheels are coming off for her, but maybe i am just being too hopeful. I am not dropping an overnight, from what judge has recommenced. Any advice on how to word this please?

Thank you

The solicitor says that "there is more chance of her being able to make CHILD see you this coming Saturday (15 December) at 12 noon "- this Friday will be 7th December, Not 15th.

TYPO-I meant this Saturday will be 8th December, not 15th.
Sorry, i feel so stressed and i am making errors hence why i don not want to respond to solicitous email at the moment.

As advised earlier, keep your response brief, point out the date error & let them know you had already contacted the court prior to their correspondence and send them a copy of that.

Hopefully your ex might try harder to comply with the order if she knows you contacted the judge. It's not your job to make her or her solicitor understand what is in the order though. I'm sure her solicitor will have advised her that she is in breach.

Everything else, put in a position statement and take it to the hearing with you. Focus on the contact only for now.

Anything the EWO says can also be brought up in court if it raises any safeguarding concerns - which I'm guessing it will.

I understand how stressful it is, but you will be much kinder to yourself if you try to keep things as simple as possible and understand that most of what you need to do and say happens in the hearings.

I know that doesn't help in between times when the contact isn't going as planned and there are other things going on, but in my experience, trying to second guess the mother or the solicitor isn't going to help your emotional state at all. It's really good that the next hearing is soon.

Thank you Yoda. I will keep it simple and follow your words. Much appreciated.