[Solved] NMO fact finding tomorrow

Wishing you the best of luck!

yes, best of luck 🙂

Well guys, walked in like Braveheart, prepared and ready for action..waited until lunch time to get into court. My sons mum's barrister kept asking me about interim arrangements and slipped in would i accept an undertaking. No way was i taking an undertaking i said and we seemed apart in contact arrangements...but i was not going to be bullied and railroaded. My Legs were shaking and heart racing but i had small headphones in my ears, plugged into phone making me look relaxed although i wasn't listening to anything..
In court, my sons mum decided she could not give any evidence and her barrister asked for it to be discharged...i spoke to the judge briefly about whether her legal aid would be stopped as i had not seen my son for 7 months for this...maybe a bit risky but i wanted to put it on the table going forward. The judge said she understood and many people are voicing the same concerns..anyway, that was that after 7 months...Please, please stick by your guns(not literally) if you have not done anything wrong. Trust yourself and provide lots of evidence at an early stage. I have had no legal representation and she has had a solicitor and barrister-it did not matter and her legal team made lots of errors.

Just before lunch we went away as interim contact was at loggerheads. The judge told us to have a chat and see if we can agree. In my position statement i asked for Friday to Saturday for 2 weeks until next hearing on 19th December(i sold myself short) They put in their position statement every other week Friday-school pick up until Monday drop off as per cafcass recommendations. When i realised their offer of contact was better i said i agree with their offer but they then tried to change it to mine!!.. Anyway we agreed on Saturday noon pick up at local park until Monday morning drop off at school every other week from tomorrow. This will take me to next hearing on 19th so i will push for cafcass recommendations of every other week Friday to Monday immediately as would have completed interim staged contact(and would only mean an extra overnight which should not be an issue). i think it went really well and i am very happy and emmotional. Please do not give up when you are facing NMO issues as you can can win if you have not done anything. The best support was on these forums, (i use two different ones) and the advice has been fantastic and i have not needed legal representation so far and i am no Einstein. The advice from from fellow dads and some mums, nans, etc, etc.. is unparalleled so THANK YOU all. Onwards until the next one!!
You can do it too!!!

Thanks for sharing and I'm glad things went well today.

Best of luck for the next one!

Well done Braveheart!

Now you can concentrate on getting a good contact schedule in place, don’t be afraid to ask for more than you would be ok with, it gives you room to be seen to compromise, which happened at this hearing.

Have a great weekend with your little one.

Thank you Mojo

Well done!!

You seem to have realised that having a "legal team" is next to useless. These people don't have the time or the passion we have in court. They know the rules and sometimes they are a formidable opponent but mostly, they are either overworked or simply not very good.

The more experience you have in court the easier it gets. Just keep reminding yourself of your strengths and the other sides weaknesses.

Quite often, as a LIP you get lucky and, as was the case for you, have a judge who can see how unfairly we are treated.

Get yourself prepped for the next one, go in with a sensible plan for the future and you should be ok. Remember that the solicitors and barristers for the other side won't always be honest both inside and outside that courtroom.

It's so good to hear of positive outcomes.

update....

Well guys, short lived happiness!

First of all, i had emailed the school with the positive news on Thursday evening. They responded the next morning by emailing me asking if i had anything in writing. i explained that a court order has usually taken 3 weeks to write up and sent to me(thats been my experience), so no. I also said that the judge asked my sons mum to inform the school, not aware she has stopped all communication with my sons school and in particular the family worker due to their contact and supportive information with me.. I knew that if i said this to the court i would be deemed as being malicious, even though i knew the truth... the school contacted the court and were informed that they were drafting a contact order and confirmed that i would have my son over the weekend. However, they were unable to confirm that NMO had been discharged. I emailed the school back and said that i am not sure if this would ever be written up (that the NMO had been discharged). It is like being found not guilty, its the end but there is nothing formal that is written?. Does anyone know the status of this? I visited the local police station this morning and they could not provide me with any information that would be helpful. They said if the judge said it is discharged that is the end of it but systems take a while to update..they also suggested adhering to previous NMO order of not coming within 100 meters of school by getting a school worker to meet me. I was going to do this on Monday morning as i wanted to show i am thoughtful of the bigger picture and just want to be helpful.

As per interim contact arrangements i turned up today at the local park playground next to sons mothers house just before 12 mid day for pick up. I waited and waited... i then called the police who were no help and just said it was a civil matter. They suggested knocking on the door but i am not that stupid to give her an opportunity to make allegations again. I sent a well worded measured and polite text at 12.20 asking if she could inform whether my son would be coming or not-no reply.
At 12.35 i texted again saying i am leaving now,disappointed you have not complied with interim contact arrangements that we both agreed to, no response again..ridiculous. Hopefully her not complying with interim contact on first occasion after 7 months, on top of not giving evidence in final hearing NMO should have an impact. Not sure how much evidence i can keep supplying before something substantial is done.

The next interim contact is on Saturday 15th, pick up from park until Monday morning. Should i just turn up again to show i am doing what is required?
The next court date is 19th December for directions hearing following section 7 cafcass report. If she carried on with this in interim not sure what happens next as she is unlikely to agree to contact over Xmas-well she will agree but not allow him to go..disappointing but just have to keep going

Any thoughts?

Email the court (for the attention of the judge) with an update on what has happened.

Keep it short and very clear:

Interim contact was due to take place but it hasn't (say this is a breach)
The police cannot confirm the NMO has been discharged
The school are unwilling to assist without seeing the Order

He / she should be able to help BUT in any case, the information will be useful for the next hearing.

I disagree with writing to the court

They are extremely unlikely (in my experience) to deal with it when the next hearing is a little over 2 weeks away. As it wouldn't be considered urgent, you would probably get a reply just before the hearing if at all & you would probably put yourself through more anguish waiting for the court to get back to you.

Better to turn up. Take a photo to show you were there, send the polite text so you have a record of this and then let the court know in your position statement for the next hearing. In a way it's a bit of a gift as it will weaken her position further in the eyes of the court.

I've had varying results with emails to court - in my own case (which ended over a year ago now) the DJ was very helpful in terms of offering replies and issuing Orders via email - the FPR allow for this. In one particular instance, I emailed him from the car to report a breach that had JUST occurred and he scheduled a hearing within minutes - although the hearing was scheduled for a week later, not minutes later!.

In other courts of course some judges never see the email OR don't reply.

The "lead judge" in one particular court complex did respond to emails but days or even weeks after receiving them.

So I guess it's pot luck. Can't hurt though and can still be covered in a position statement. Copying in the other side when sending an email can often have good results too as they KNOW the court knows what they have done.