[Solved] Newborns/court outcomes

From what i read all advice is correct above. You may be best off coming on here getting advice as you dont need solicitors as they will cost you lots of money and will achieve nothing. The best way is to agree a few hours with your ex partner and build contact up as your baby gets older. Its a huge obstacle your ex being so far away, when child gets older you could consider moving closer so more contact is possible. Dont waste any more money on solicitors there are lots of people on here that can help. have you tried mediation with ex?

I was thinking that a solicitor would be a waste of money as the baby is so young even with one I would still only get limited access.at the moment I can’t agree anything with my ex as she ignores everything. I have had a MIAM with the mediation services and so far she has ignored them as well. I have no doubt she knew the issues it would cause by moving, she has moved to the middle of nowhere away from all her friends and family as well as me. She wouldn’t be willing to meet me half way with the travelling or with the costs so it would all be down to me. With the distance and time it would take there isn’t enough hours in the day for me to be making that journey during the week with working. Even at weekends I don’t know where the visit could happen as I very much doubt a court would want a new born baby in the back of a car travelling for hours and hours. I am tempted to drive up and try speak to her but friends have advised me this is a bad idea and could be used against me in court. At what age would a court grant over night stays? This is my first child so I have no previous experiences with family courts.

Thanks in advance.

Unless ex agrees otherwise overnight contact is considered generally once child is 2. before that you are probably looking at 2-4 hours max every weekend . as child gets older you would be able to get more , possibly half the holidays and every other weekend

I have some experience of court and new born. I first started off seeing baby for just 30 minutes every Saturday. Then became 1 hour from when child was 6 months. She just turned 2 and I have been seeing her 7 hours at home, every other sunday. I live 30 mins away. Overnights will start when shes 2 and a half.

As you mentioned, because of your situation, you would end up doing all the traveling and spending short time with baby. Also be mindful that some times they can be malicious and say they will breast feed baby until they are 1 or 2, though really they are bottle feeding. And that will be their excuse to limit the time you spend with child. Courts can't do much about these silly ploys.

Hopefully you can come to some decent arrangement with help of courts. I was surprised when they ordered my ex to give me a private room at her place to spend time with baby 🙂

Thanks for the input warwickshire1.

Bill337- Really you started with just 30 mins a week until baby was six months old. Was this what the court granted? That is ridiculous, how are you meant to even bond with the baby with such a small amount of time. Did your court order include the changes as the baby grows older, like the over nights stays from when she is 2 and a half. Or did you have to go back to court to change the order?

Does a court get involved with the logistical side of visits ie the travel and costs? Can they tell ex she must meet half way etc? Yes I am just waiting for the ‘breast feeding’ card to be played, no doubt she will claim the baby needs feeding every hour as well. I think this will become more difficult once she goes back to work as she will be out the house 8 hours plus a day.

Yes that is a surprise with your ex having to provide a private room for your visits. I don’t think things are that civil between me and my ex for that to work but hopefully things will get better.

When baby turned 6 months, started spending an hour with her. Took her to local coffee shop near ex. Did that for few months. Then from age 1, started spending few more hours at home. This was agreed in court the first time round. But ex started messing around, so I returned to court to sort it out (vary order).

I know courts have asked parents to meet half way with travelling in some cases. But whether parents follow through with that is another question. I doubt court will get involved with cost side of things. You can sort that out as your paying maintenance. If you go through child maintenance service, you can claim certain expenses like travel costs.

Hi there

Court ordered contact and the logistics of it often varies greatly from case to case. If the court can get the parents to agree the terms, that's great. If not, the court will make the decisions for you.

Whatever the outcome it is likely to be short, regular sessions. You could look in to contact centres local to the mother if you don't think she would agree to it taking place at her home.

Are you on the birth certificate? If not, you will also need to apply for Parental Responsibility when making the Child Arrangements application. Best of luck

Hi Yoda,

I highly doubt I will be named on the birth certificate. Can you apply for PR in the same court for the child arrangements or is it a separate case and more fee’s?

I got word back from the mediator that they are not proceeding with mediation after speaking to my ex but wouldn’t elaborate on the reasons why so I have no other option but court now.

Hi,

I think you should go ahead and file a c100 for child arrangements order. There will probably be a 2-3 month wait before your first hearing. so better to apply asap. I had no involvement with registering birth of my child, so assume I am not named on certificate. But it still did not prevent me from filing a c100 application.