[Solved] new to the forum with a question

Hi there,

It might have been advisable to let her know what your plans were as you were taking her out of the local area. There shouldn't be a problem but if you have a look around the forum you will see that there often is.....it's about control and the fact that the mother often thinks she has all the rights as the resident parent and fathers have none!

I would have made communication with my ex but unfortunately when I raised the day trip to see my mum and partner 3 months ago it was not approved of and basically canned for another conversation to have in the future. It has caused a great deal of pain for her today and had I known I should have just said this is what I am doing!

You would have thought you should be allowed to visit your mum but the courteous thing would have been to ask especially if they have refused previously

Hope this doesn't come back to haunt you

If you're ex is anything like mine is then you'd be expected to tell her your every movement....where you're going, how long for, whos will be there, what you're going to do.

the reality is this is for them to know everything...and be able to control everything you do........if they don't approve then you'll be restricted by them to their satisfaction.

i used to tell my ex my plans simply out of that sense of common courtesy however you're not obliged to do that....you're ex really ought to lighten up and believe that you are fully capable of making safe decisions about what you do, where you go etc...

where you go and what you do with your time with your child is up to you and nothing to do with her but she will make it a big deal if you don't may restrict you if she feels like it!

Hi There,

I agree with the above, it would have been a good idea to have told her where you planned to go.

That said you shouldn't have to give details of what and where you go whilst you have your daughter.

Your ex is looking to control the visits you have and will probably continue to.

Is there a formal agreement in place (through the courts) or do you just have a private agreement?

GTTS

private at the moment but I have a mediation date at the end of the month and i feel it sadly won't be resolved and most probably move on to the courts.