[Solved] New mental health developments

hi,

your ex admits she has a problem and is ok with your child living with you for the time being. So I would not start any hostilities. You should try get her some help urgently. You try and have her referred for mental health issues. its quite a silly system. someone in my family had similar issues and I ended up calling the police on them, then the police referred them to mental/sectioning. if she starts causing trouble then I think you should take the legal route.

It’s impossible to say lukatic, are Children Services involved? Is she on medication, the fact that she failed to get sectioned, does that mean she doesn’t have any community support?

You could apply for an emergency PSO to prevent his removal from your care and a variation of the existing order to state that he lives with you. You would need to be able to show that she has serious mental health problems and had relinquished primary care of your child.

If as I suspect, she is undiagnosed, the next few months are likely to be hard on you all, until she can get the right help. Best of luck

Thanks. She went back to her home town but has already handed notice on her flat so will be homeless from 6th august. Shes talked about him going to a refuge womens shelter with her. I would not allow this as its still not suitable for a child especially as hes perfectly happy here. I want her to be a competant mother again. I want her to see him. I dont want vengence on the years of minimal contact she put me through. But i cant take her on as well. I've had no contact from her for 4 days since she left so will wait for the next shitstorm i guess.
Thanks.

... I wouldn’t feel bad about not taking her on, shes no longer your responsibility as such, although as the mother of your child, you wouldn’t want her to come to harm. Are her family helping her? Is she getting professional help?

I bought her some train tickets to get back to her hometown. Her family initially wanted nothing to do with her as its been quite sometime now providing a safety net to someone who falls down in her patterned co-dependent way. I mean they had a visit from the police after being accused of child abuse and all this other vile stuff that has come from the demons in her mind. She then tried to either section herself or take an overdose, they both happened. A determined cry for help as it took a number of weeks for her liver to be cleared enough to get medication for her mental problems. last week, She phoned and said she doesnt want to be a mother anymore. disturbing as ive had to fight for 4 years to see my son on any regular basis. I dont take it as gospel, shes down and out at the moment. i certainly wont tell her that my son son told me that he doesnt love her (hes 6) yesterday. I guess hes had a mother with no humour and incredibly self- absorbed, dark and neggy for the last few months in her deterioration. I guess hes gonna go through his own tunnel of processing this too. But he's ridiculously happy and content being with me.

Shes now in a mental hospital, no contact for a week. her family are sorting her house and stuff and being kept in the loop but are very much staying away and creating boundaries so that this wont affect them again.

Incidentally i talked to a corams legal advisor the other day and it was very good. He told me that with this situation as it is, i would not need to go to court right away to get a variation/new order. In fact, its going to be up to her to sue me for an enforcement and i will have to justify the breach. (Its a little more complicated than just going for a variation). With all the evidence now on record its clear the courts can be discretionary and reasonable about the use of my equal parental responsibility to have my son full time. There are many phone recordings which i can transcribe parts of and present as evidence to the court .

So that was nice that i could be patient and not have to deal with the trauma and conflict of court.

so eventually....being a good guy, being patient, being the bigger person (someone has to), never giving up, has worked out for Father and Son.

BE good.

Thankfully it has worked out for you, but more importantly for your little boy.

All the best