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Hello all. Ive been trawling through this website and its been a quite depressing experience. The legal system seems to be broken far worse than even my experience should have shown me. A small request for positivity please - its been a harsh 4 years for me. My question first:
1. at what point will I have the opportunity to present my case/evidence?
2. My ex has refused over a dozen written requests for mediation do I still need to go through the expense and time of a MIAM?
3. can a judge unseal a Reunite confidential negotiation?
I was in court the beginning of last year for my C100 where I was not allowed to either respond to my ex-wifes narrative, nor was I allowed to give my timeline/narrative. I have an excellent and well researched case as my Ex and I have been communicating for years by email only so its really conclusive.
My story in brief
British wife I am American
We were living abroad our daughter is born abroad, at 18 months wife went on "holiday" to visit her family and never returned. I organised counselling for us which she walked out of then emptied our accounts, contacted my work and had me fired. I did the Hague convention to be told it had taken too much time. Tried Reunite which she walked out of the day of the signing. I moved to the UK to be a father, ex allowed me a 1 -2 hours under her supervision or her best friends supervison (a cop) about every 2 months. During this time in the UK I was effectively homeless, somehow she found out all about me, where I went to have coffee (free wifi), training schemes I was at, projects I tried to start and gave this info to the Child Support agency who then contacted even the cafes I went to and the bike shop my friends worked at... She had friends contact one of the businesses I was training at - next thing - 10 days after being offered a job the job ended suddenly as I was shown an email from one of her friends. She even used my visit to our daughter to have me served with divorce papers.
I am crawling out of homelessness, have managed to survive and now just want to be a good dad.
Things to know - I don't do drugs, drink too much, I am well presented, never aggressive, no charges or claims of violence of any type, no claims of bad parenting. In fact I trade caring for a frail elderly couple for rent and often work as a babysitter, even overnight.
Many thanks for your advice.
The IceMonkey
Hi there
I'll try not to be too negative but I'm a little confused.... You say that you were in court at the beginning of last year, would that be early 2014? Has your case not progressed since then?
Even at the first hearing both party's have usually been spoken to by CAFCASS and asked about the background to their case, did that happen for you?
If you could clarify these points that would be helpful and it might be a good idea for you to attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area where you will get direct advice and support from others in similar situations....heres a link to their website where you will find details of meetings in your area
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
To answer your questions....
You should be given the opportunity to start to present your case at the second hearing, it would be usual for the judge to ask for statements from both parties and at this point you would use the statement to present your case, refer to any evidence you have and attach it to your statement.
Mediation is mandatory before an application to court can be made and you are required to attend a MIAM. The mediator would them assess your suitability for mediation and either contact your ex and ask her to attend or deem your situation unsuitable for mediation and sign off the C100 form to enable you to progress to court.
I'm not sure about your third question, I know that an agreement made in mediation is also confidential and can't be revealed in court without both partys agreeing to it. Reunite have a helpline, I'm pretty sure they could clarify this for you so I'd advise giving them a call.
Check out the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section, you'll find lots of information about the court process. Here's a link to the Child Arrangements Programme which covers court procedure and how a case would progress through court, with an accompanying flowchart.
https://www.justice.gov.uk/downloads/family-justice-reform/pd-12b-cap.pdf
http://www.judiciary.gov.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Child-Arrangements-Programme-Flowchart.pdf
Frankly I had no money. No money at all. I was homeless. No money = no court. My wife stopped all access this time last year.
My caffcass interview was in the presence of my wife's barrister.
I was given no opertunity to defend myself in court. I have the transcript that shows it.
The judge made a verbal order for contact that was not in the written judgement. I was ordered to move 400 miles in the written judgement as well as prove I was legally in the country as my visa was not enough.
I will not go back to fnf as they proves to be both excessively aggressive (banned from the pub I last went to due to an idiotic argumentative guy who was running the event) and basically very unhelpful.
So if my ex has refused mediation a dozen plus times do I still need to go through the chirade?
Thanks
Hope that helps
Are you on any kind of benefits - if so, you may not have to pay the £215 court fee, and if you self-represent, then there are no other court costs. If you ex is refusing to go to mediation, then the mediators should sign off the form that allows you to go to court without any further attempt at mediation.
actd and Mojo have given you great advice.
In terms of your experience with FNF, can I suggest you try an alternative meeting if there was a clash with the host of the one you attended? It's a shame to hear about your experience and if you were upset by the meeting you attended, it's worth letting the head office know about that.
Good luck
Hi there
Do you have proof of your eligibility to stay in the UK now and I'm really surprised that a court would order you to move at all! I must say I've never heard of that happening before.
As a year has passed you can re apply for a Child Arrangements Order for contact. You will need to get the mediator to sign off the C100 form before you can submit the forms. If she has been refusing mediation , have a chat with the mediator and see if he will consider that mediation isn't suitable in your case.
As far as the FNF meeting you refer to, without naming names I think I might know who you refer to...not all meetings are run from the pub with excessive drinking and there are other branches that bear no comparison to the one you attended. The Battersea meeting is one i would have no hesitation in recommending and I know there are others in London that Yoda can vouch for.
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