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Hi I’m new to the forum so i hope i am posting this in the right section, but i am in need of some advice regarding see my children.
I had been with my ex-partner of nearly 7 years when in May 2013 i found out by pure chance she had been planning to meet up with a guy she had only been speaking to for 3 days online. We split up for several weeks and i had regular contact with my children after several attempts by my ex-partner to try and rekindle our relationship i finally agreed for us to try and make things work once again ( hoping it was just a bump in the road and we could get things back on track ).
We tried to make things work, but as the week's/months went on she spent more time online chatting to people until it reached a point she was up until 3-4am knowing we had to be u for 7am to get our children ready for school. I finally decided to end the relationship on the 17th September 2013, we had an arrangement where i could see my two daughters from:
4pm-6/7pm Mon - Thursday
4pm-Bedtime Fri - Sunday (This is due to her mother having the children on these days)
I'd also do the School run Monday & Wednesday
On 10th October 2013 my ex-partner decided to completely stop access for myself and proceeded to say that she had contacted there school to deny me access to pick them up and she would also contact the police if i approached my children. She had also blacked mailed her own family members stating (If they allowed me to visit them whilst they had my daughters in there care she would stop them from seeing them ). Prior to this she had already told me on 3 occasions twice verbally and once via sms/txt ( which i still have ) to stay away from the girls and her. I put those times down to her being angry, trying to make me hurt for choosing to end the relationship.
My name is on both birth certificates and have not and would not harm my children in anyway, there are no current legal proceedings concerning care or access. Do i have rights to see my children without a court order?
I have been told, it could cost me upwards of £3,000 for legal fees if i have a solicitor to represent me in court. I cannot afford this as i had to care for my ex-partner due to her having kidney problems and am now currently looking for full time work.
What a tough situation mate!
Your name is on the birth certificates which is a great start, you do have rights but you will need to go through court to 'enforce' them - which probably isn't the best term to use but I'm quite tired at the moment! How old are your children, is there any reason why you didn't have them for overnight contact until this?
I'm self representing at the moment and although I'm only two hearings in, it really isn't as daunting as I thought it was going to be. There's a wealth of support and free legal advice out there and you certainly wouldn't be alone. I would advise ringing CORAM children's legal services for advice, getting the forms you need ready and writing to your ex partner informing her that if she doesn't allow you contact in the next XX days you will be forced to proceed with court action.
Hopefully this advise is ok, I'm still a relative 'newbie' to all of this - I'm sure some of our much more knowledgeable members will be along soon!
Edited - What reasons, if any, has she given for stopping contact? Document absolutely EVERYTHING that happens from here on in.
I would say that £3000 is probably just the starting figure if your ex is behaving in this way, so MM's advice is excellent here. There's a couple of sticky topics at the top of the legal eagle section on representing yourself, plus a link to a video - all well worth looking at, plus if you need specific legal advice, we can ask the CCLC to pop by.
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