[Solved] Need some advice with access to my daughter

I just thought i would add that i know this i rellativly small issue compared to other's and i might be laughed off this forum for bringing what might seem a relatively small issue here.

I just thought id ask your opinions.

Thanks again
Sean

Hi Sean

Welcome to the forum.

Wanting to be a good father is never a small issue, so it's good that you have asked 🙂

I don't think what you are asking is unreasonable at all - has your ex given any reason for not wanting you to have this additional contact? If she really digs her heels in, then you could suggest mediation (attempting this is compulsory anyway before you can apply to court) - the possibility of her having to explain her reasons to an objective third party may gently nudge her towards agreeing.

Try www.nfm.org.uk

Hi Actd, thank you for the reply.

It just allways feels like an uphill struggle, as far as im aware, being a father should mean both parents are equal. I am lucky she is just down the road.

There are no real reasons behind it, i presume its because she still wants some sort of power over me. She has admitted to me before that she finds it hard to let Leila go and it makes her upset when i take Leila (my daughter) for the night. I try to explain to her im as much a part of my daughters life as she is.

She says she will ask my daughter, she is three and im concerned that she will influence my daughter to say no. All i want is my daughter for 2 more nights a month (and its not for any monetary reason ie: Child Maintenance) and have explained that its 24 extra nights a year. I have also explained that split parents go to court for equal access, so what im asking for is minimal.

I currently see my daughter monday and wednesday after work at my ex's house.

Im pretty certain what i said is the correct way to go about it so, again, if this was unreasonable then please tell me.

Im pretty sure if she dosent agree, mediation will be the way.

Thank you
Sean

Hey Damien if you copy and paste this and post it in the legal eagle section you will get more responses mate, just click "new topic" put it in the Legal eagle section and job sorted 🙂

Try and talk to her again sean if no joy then try mediation, It seems very unreasonable what contact you have by a long shot your ex sounds like mine I was only allowed to see my girl under her roof with her present it was a nightmare living like that she like your ex does not grasp that our daughter has a right to both parents in her life she is so selfish it's like she wants complete control over my Girl thats why I've done what I've done and gone through court.

Hi Slim,

Thank you for your reply.

She is a great mother, but is a little blind sided. There is no bitterness between us until a conversation about any of this ensues. I have made her aware this evening that i need to know by Wednesday (and i have my daughter this wednesday). But im tired of jumping through hoops now and want something in writing / set in stone.

Do you think i sould wait for her to reply to me on the wednesday, so if she dosent i can confront her about it on Thursday or just bring up the conversation on wednesday?

Also something that is a little weird is my daughter plays up (occasionally) misbehaves for my ex but i see none of it?!? My ex has sent me pictures of my daughter spralled out on the foor in TESCO's or rings me in the night when she dosent sleep (which of course i dont mind). My ex brings this up with me every now and again as if to say its something to do with what im doing. My parenting is, if she is grumpy make her laugh and smile.

I have read some of your posts Slim and really value your opinion, so again, than you for responding.

Cheers,
Sean

EDIT: Do you know if i can use a string of text messages over the last few months in court. It shows me trying to resolve issues and her admithing that she dosent do well in letting go. Court is last resort for me but if i have to go, id rather be informed.

Just curious slim, how long ago did you go to court?

Thats good news that she is being reasonable I would try and avoid court as much as possible have a chat with her again and suggest mediation I think that would be my first priority.

I can't see having your Girl play up is because of your parenting skills but I wouldn't be surprised if the split up may be a factor in why she is behaving the way she is.

It will be wise to keep the text messages as you may need them in the future but I wouldnt worry about that for now 🙂

Thank you all,

I will let you know what happens on Wednesday or Thursday depending on how it goes.

Thanks for the advice slim. 🙂

Sean

I got stopped from seeing my girls start of jan I tried mediation start of march that failed I applied for contact through the courts mid march and got my first court date end of april then another hearing at the end of july when i was awarded contact but the ex ignored it and i didnt get contact until 2 weeks ago.

all in all didnt see my girl for nearly 10 months, I got a court date after 4 weeks then it took me 4 months to get an order but my ex is the [censored] from [censored] one of the worst so she slowed everything right down I just wish I went for the order sooner

"I just wish I went for the order sooner" awesome advice man! I hope my situation gets no where near as bad as yours and im sorry you didnt get to see your daughter for 10 months. That would break any father!

Just curious, if your ex created more problems... what would happen?

Thanks