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Wondering if anyone can help?
My ex and i separated when she was 7 months pregnant. Started new relationship shortly after and now married which she is "understandably" unhappy about.
Have seen son 8 times since birth and he's now 2 and a half
Csa is set up
Applied for access to the courts, requesting every other weekend access.
Communication between ex and myself is not possible.
She has failed to appear in court twice and not provided any information requested.
After first section 7 report
Me- no records, no negative history. She made no claims against meother than not making an effort and me leaving her. She requested supervision contact based on lack of previous contact.
Ex- drug abuse and confirmed by her, anxiety and depression, previous Ss reports show my child with bruises and scratches and leaving her other child home alone at 3yrs old. cafcass said that she meet the basic needs of the child.
Interim order advised that he should be reintroduced to me with unsupervised contact centre for 2hrs every 3 weeks. I drive 350miles round trip for this.
Ex- asked to provide medical history to the court, this hasn't been done twice.
So that gets you up to date. I read a lot of inspiring stories on here.
My case seems slightly different, she isn't accusing me of anything just saying she wants me to have supervised visits and making everything very difficult!
I'm frustrated, I just want my son. I want him to know me and build that bond. I'm jumping through hoops, having to drive a 350 miles round trip, legal fees, csa.
All that for 2 hrs which she turns up late with no idea if I will ever get more time away from her beady eyes.
New cafcass call tomorrow, 2 more visits(she didn't turn up to one) and then court date.
I don't know if I should pay for a solicitor? Manage my expectations? I just want hope.
Any advice? Any recommendations or suggestions
Hi There,
.
My view is you are doing everything right you are jumping through the hoops and you are doing everything asked of you, keep doing this and I'm sure that the courts will fall in your favour.
.
it can be easy to get caught up and play games, but it doesn't get you very far in the long run.
.
GTTS
Hi there
How did the CAFCASS call go?
I can understand your anxiety for your son, I always find it hard to swallow when there are signs of neglect and yet the authorities decide that a child's basic needs are being met... a child deserves so much more than that!
As GTTS has said, you are doing everything right and because of what she has stated; that there are no good reasons for you not to be involved, I'm pretty sure the court will want to get a final order in your favour in place, sooner rather than later.
If you have managed well enough without a solicitor up to now, I would say you don't need one, the only real impact they will make at this stage is to your pocket. That said, if you are finding it difficult to cope then you could look for a direct access barrister for the final hearing, which would probably cost anything from £1000-£2000 for the day.
It's quite common for a mother with issues not to comply with court directions, I wouldn't get caught up with it, it's likely not to make any difference and she probably won't get anything more than a telling off.
I'm sure, after a short period in the centre, the court will want to progress contact, and it might help to provide a schedule of increasing contact to show that you are thoughtful to your child's needs.
It's a good idea to prepare a brief position statement to take to the next hearing with you, just a bit about how contact has gone for you both, mentioning that she has failed to attend and that you feel that your son is ready for contact to be moved away from the centre and that you have prepared a schedule of how that might work and write it in the statement. If your son has siblings you could write a bit about how important it is for them to start to form a bond too and maybe a bit about ant preparations you've made when you can finally take him home. If you would like feedback on your statement, I'm sure any of the moderators would be happy to look over it for you.
Things are usually difficult during the court process, it's very stressful for all parties, but once the final order has been made, things usually settle down and then you can get on with forming that close and loving bond with your boy that you both deserve.
Best of luck
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