[Solved] Need advice or just someone else's look at something.

If you aren't happy with your solicitor, then look at changing to another, or at least discussing with your current solicitor why you aren't happy with their service - there's no point paying for a service if you have no confidence in their work.

So I've been a little bit naughty and I've been bugging the front room when I away from the house in order to make sure that the children aren't being abused.

Yesterday I heard my wife say to the children that she can't leave daughter on her own as it's illegal and also Daddy won't be happy and he'll call social services.

Son wanted dropping off at the skate park was the issues and daughter didn't want to go.

Guess what happened, wife took son and left daughter at home, whilst not illegal is there any point me doing anything with this information or just wait until Cafcass speak to me.

I'm so [censored] torn by all of this and our next court case was meant to be March has now been put back t July while the court waits for the finances to be sorted out.

Covert recording of children can be frowned upon... you might just get the courts back up if you try and use it... also as you say, the law on leaving children alone is also a grey area. I’d think about it carefully if I were you.

Sorry to hear that your hearing has been put back...July is a long time to wait. The family court is notoriously slow I’m afraid.

All the best

Here’s an article that’s worth reading

http://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed160225

Covert recording of children can be frowned upon...

Should I get a Nanny cam instead? 🙂

Seems daft that I can't check that my children aren't being abused by a known child abuser!

But then the law can be an [censored] as we well know.

I think something visible would be ok... is a nanny cam visible?

A Nanny cam is a covert teddy bear with a camera inside. Design to check that a Nanny or baby sitter is doing there job properly.

I'm not getting one, it was just my strange sense of humor. We see covert images used all the time on the news and it still seems funny that what I have done may be frowned upon.

I just wanna make sure my children are safe.

I absolutely get what you’re saying... some courts will accept covert recording, some won’t. We had a member that positioned cameras in the home and it didn’t go down too well.

Your sense of humour is fine! I’ve just got my Moderator head on!

Shall I just make a note of all that happens then and give it to cafcass? They still haven't done the section 7 yet.

I’ve just re read your original post, as your ex has three counts of violence against your daughter documented, it’s not such a leap to understand why you might want to keep a watchful, if covert eye on things.

Certainly keep a record of events, it might be better to inform your ex that you do have a nanny cam installed, and what you have discovered, before you discuss it with the authorities.

Best of luck

So right now I'm suicidal, having got social services in regarding my wife leaving my daughter alone and also sleeping in with our 12 year old son every night.

SS have said that the children should be placed on a care plan and that they should live with their mother! As they are suffering emotional abuse and being used as pawns in the relationship.

This is very much the shorter version of events as I'm very tired.

SS accused me of physical assaulting my daughter and once my son, my son was actually hitting and hurt himself causing a bruise to his own arm. The allegations against me on my daughter are almost true but never stated the whole facts and only ever reasonable force was used, certainly not enough for the Police to be involved.

So the SS (Social Services) did a single assessment on us and no further action was to be taken.

2 weeks later my daughter is attacking me again and I restrain her from doing so. She repeats this 3 or 4 times and I use the same method to remove her from me each time. I eventually remove her from the room and take her outside to my wife in the office. Daughter comes back in with wife and daughter again attacks me while I'm eating, I again use the same method to escort her to the other side of the room, daughter does it, again and again, I use the same method but this time say to my wife that she should be doing something to help. An argument breaks out between us and my daughter ends up in tears saying "Daddy hurt her". The argument continues for a bit I finish my dinner and go out.

I come home around an hour later all is calm, I head to work early the next morning and come home to a panicked wife who says that I can be in the house as SS has declared me as unsafe. I finally managed to speak to someone from SS and they say that ideally, I should leave the house. I explain that I have nowhere to go, I say that I'll barricade myself in my room away from the family.

2 hours later after my daughter has gone to bed I see an arm through the gap in the door, my daughter wants to come in, so she does and cuddles up for a good hour while we watch a film, wife finds out and goes mental at me.

8 days later wife finally removes children as part of circle of safety.

Thursday just gone I get a letter saying that I am invited to an Intail Child Protection Conference.....Friday at 2pm I get an email with the Single Assessment attached.

I go to the conference and it's me 7 women and my daughter's headmaster dials in as he's away on holiday. I get slammed about the physical stuff, no mention of the wifes poor parenting skills or bribery. All in all they say that the children should live with their mother and be put on a care plan.

I come home stunned and start looking through the paperwork, they have only gone and made all these assumptions based on an incorrect Assessment, the wrong one was used at the conference.

I've tried to speak to SS but it;s ;like they have a steel ring around them, they never reply.

I'm at my wit's end.

How do I get a voice in all this???

Hi there

I’ve only just seen your post, how are you feeling today?

I’m so sorry you are feeling desperate, I understand how hard it must be, do you have anyone that you can turn to, a family member or close friend perhaps?

It would be a good idea to contact the Samaritans and talk your feelings through... you do need to be supported right now, you need to stay strong for your children. You can call them on -

116 123

It would also help to give The Family Rights Group a call, they’re experienced with families who are involved with social services and may be able to give you some advice. Here’s a link to their website

www.frg.org.uk - You can call them on 0808 801 0366

If you could answer this post or send me a PM to let me know you’re ok... suicide isn’t the answer, please remember that your children need you in their lives.

Stay strong my friend