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Hi everyone,
To try and give a bit if a fore story, my ex and I split up when my son was a few months old. He is now 8 months old. She moved away to Carlisle with him, I stay in Glasgow, where my son was born. There was abuse from her end so we do not communicate but I am still in communication with her parents regarding organising seeing my son.
He is now 8 months old, and I am trying to organise or establish when ill be able to take him overnight, so back up to glasgow with me (1 hour on the train). They are saying not til he finishes breastfeeding which would be up til 2 years old.
I dont know how to react. Surely breastmilk can be expressed and refrigerated for the journey up to mine where it would be stored in a fridge and bottle fed as I was used to doing when we still lived together. I feel reluctant to just accept that I wont be able to have my son overnight until he is 2 years of age.
Please help.
My kids were Breast and bottle fed so that They were used to powder milk / bottles ...
She was always against formula and powedered milk
hi wyatt,
its very rare for an 8 month old baby to stay overnight with dad. during my court stuff, social worker asked me if i wanted my 5 month old daughter to stay overnight, (probably trying to find out if im nutty lol). i told her thats out of the question, as shes still breast-feeding and will be too attached to mum.
i recommended that when she turns 1, she can spend couple of hours with me and then go home. and when she turns 2, then can start overnights. at present i see her for 1 hour every 2 weeks. i also have another 2 kids, and overnights started when one was 2 and a half years old.
i was expecting my ex to say same thing, that she will breastfeed till child is 2. but surprisingly she said till 1. when we were together, she stopped breastfeeding at 6 months lol.
Oddly enough I know children who were 8 months old or younger when they stayed overnight with dad but the difference was that the ex-partners got on so it was a private arrangement. In your case you don't get on so I would wait until the child is older.
Meanwhile build up spending longer hours with the baby so by the time they stay overnight with you as a toddler they are use to spending at least 8 hours with you on their own. That way when they do the mother cannot claim spending overnights with you upsets your child. (Yes it means hard work and lots of traveling back and forth on your part but short term pain for long term gain. Just make it clear from the start you are not your ex's default baby sitter when the child is older. )
In regards to breast feeding - after 6 months a baby is considered weaned. While mothers are encouraged to breast feed as long as possible - 2 years and beyond -, after a year it's expected a toddler is drinking from some form of cup most of the time. Breast feeding at this age in developed countries is more for comfort than nutrition. In developing countries breast feeding as long as possible is encouraged due to poor water supply, to decrease the risk of malnutrition and because it can decrease fertility.
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