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Hi
im looking for advise on housing rights i will provide as much info as i can.
i live in social housing & have a sole tenancy in my name & all the domestic bills are in my name solely.
i live in a 2 bed house with my 6yr old daughter and her mother who is my ex partner.
we came out of a 12yr relationship April of last year 2016. we moved into the property in 2012 and i have paid all the bills since except maybe the odd payment that my ex made. i have asked her to leave on numerous occasions however she refuses to go, i went to my landlord & asked for advice where they explained to me that as far as they are concerned its my tenancy & it was up to me who would or would not reside with me in the home.
i asked the police for advice on removing my ex from the home, where they explained that i could not physically remove my ex however there was nothing to stop me from changing the locks while she was out as long as i gave her access to her personal property. i decided not to take any action as this would cause undue stress and disruption to our daughters well being.
so i tried to compromise and offered for her to stay in the home in exchange for £60 a month to cover her share of council tax & utility. she agreed ! i have not received a penny after asking repeatedly.
so now i have have an ex partner freeloading and refusing to leave.
on top of this my ex constantly undermines my authority with our daughter, she continuously picks fight with our daughter present and as much as i try to bite my tongue some times i have to make a stand. she constantly bends my daughters ear on how much of a bad father i am as i dont take my daughter out. here i have tried to explain to my daughter that after i have paid all the bills i have no money left to take my daughter on days out my daughter is 6yrs so you can imagine she doesn't understand the full value of money & responsibility.
this is causing my daughter to turn against me with the usual tantrums of " your not my dad" etc
where by my ex sits in the corner grinning at watching her daughter rebel against her father, in turn my daughter see her mother and fuels my daughters aggression towards me.
this hurts
on numerous occasions my ex has left our daughter in other peoples care to pursue a social life. i accept that life goes on however there have been times where she has had my daughter out with her till the early hrs of the morning, she would be in my care but i work afternoon to late shift and they are already out when i return home.
i love my daughter , but im not willing to give up a home that i have solely contributed to i would love my daughter to live with me however she wants her mum. i have since learnt that if i was to remove my ex that she would be able to seek a residency order where the outcome could be that im ordered to leave the home.
my home life is a mess & i dont know what to do.
i have put my case to C.A.B , but all they say is seek legal advice. i called one solicitor with no response.
is there anybody reading that knows what mine & my ex partners rights are & what i can do.
thanks
Confused
M. smith
Hi there
I can't imagine how stressful it must be sharing a home with an ex for such a long time. It's a real dilemma for you, having a child in the middle makes taking any action very difficult. Have you tried talking to Shelter, they may be able to advise you as to your rights.
I can't see how you could be ordered to leave if you have sole tenancy, unless the council are prepared to transfer the tenancy. I gues these are the things you need to find out about.
Your choices may be stark... Changing the locks, or cutting your losses. Have you thought about putting in for a house exchange?
Speak to Shelter, they are usually pretty good at advising about housing issues.
All the best
I agree with mojo - I can't see that a court can force the landlord to transfer the tenancy to her, so I don't think a child arrangement order for your daughter to live with her mother would affect that, though I would go to shelter as mojo suggests (I'd also try CAB again, and see if you can get someone there who knows about this area) - if your ex then moves out with your daughter, you'd have to pay maintenance (based on your income as I can't see you coming to an agreement) which is almost certainly going to cost you less, and I suspect in the long run, your daughter isn't going to be so enamoured with your ex if she isn't living anywhere too thrilling, so she may well want to come back and live with you, in which case you won't be paying maintenance, but could claim it off your ex.
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