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Hi,
I'm new on here and i'm hoping someone can give me some advice.
My ex seems to be controlling my children and stopping me from seeing them. I phone them at least 2/3 times a week and they used to come over every other weekend. This recently stopped as they wanted to see their friends now they are teenagers. This was a little upsetting at first but understood.
I know call them when I know their mum is at work as it always ends up in an argument if she is round. When we speak and we arrange to go for dinner everything is good but 5 minutes later when they tell their mum all of a sudden she calls stating they are scared to tell me that they don't want to go. This happens every time I arrange to see them.
Has anyone else had these issues? What is the best way to resolve this?
Also she claims that she has now stopped working and its looking like i will have to pay more maintenance, Which I don't mind if I knew it was going to my children, Is there any laws in which she should be working a minimum or maximum amount of hours?
Thanks in Advance
Ray
Hi there
As our kids get older and become more independent they all want to do stuff with their friends, but I think it's still important that they be encouraged to make time for you too. If they make arrangements to spend time with you their mother should make sure that they do, calling you after five minutes to cancel isn't sending them the right message either. It sounds to me that they are stuck in the middle and don't want to diappoint either parent... not a very good position for them to be in really.
You can use mediation to try and get some agreement in place with the mother, but if she refuses, or it doesn't work, the only other option open to you would be an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order. There's plenty of info about the process in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section. You don't need a solicitor, that can be hugely expensive, to submit the application to court would be a one off fee of £215, which can be claimed back if you're on benefits or a low income.
Under the statutory maintenance rules, the receiving parents income isn't taken into account, so the amount you should pay wouldn't change if she stopped work. If she is on JSA she would need to sign on and probably attend job club... its only mothers with children under school age that are eligible for benefits without having to look for work.
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