Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
hi, me and my ex partner have a daughter together and their is a court order in place for me to see her 2 weekends a month, this can be changed on both partys agreeing, i cannot afford that as i live 360 mile round trip from her. i have discussed my cercumtances with my ex and she disagrees with me seeing my daughter 1's a month ither for a week or a weekend. i have continuesley text my ex asking if i can see my daughter and she refuses to let me and it has been 3 months now. i have also asked if my ex will try alternative dispute resalution as she is persistant in me not having my daughter 1's a month. can you give me any guidence please?
...Its a pity you live so far apart, otherwise I would suggest that you try mediation. I'm not sure if you could both attend seperate mediation centres that are local to you both, it might be acceptable as I know that the mediation service will allow both parties to attend seperately at the same centre...it might be worth looking into.
Heres a link to the Mediation service ~ www.nfm.org.uk
Apart from that you could always apply to vary an existing contact order. This would be done with the same form C100 I think, and there is a fee.
I think Darren, one of the moderators is going through a variance to his contact order, so he might be able to give you more specific advice.
Good luck with it 🙂
With the alternate dispute resolution one of the pathways is medeation but my ex is still un co-operative, which in my mind is contempt of court as im putting numerous differnt avenues forward with no joy or even a sergestion to resolve the situation. I am increasingley missing my daughter as the days go by and rather confused with legal side of things as their are so many differnt processes to choose from. Thank you for your sergestion Nanny Jane it is much appreshiated as any information is in a time of need and this is a big one for me.
...I would suggest you keep a Diary of everything that concerns your daughter. All of the different avenues of resolution that you have put forward that have been ignored by your ex, with dates. Keep all txts and emails and log all calls with transcripts of conversations....in fact absolutely everything! This will help if you have to go back to court and will show the effort you have put in to try and reach agreement and how unco-operative she has been throughout.
How old is your daughter?...is she old enough for telephone contact? If she is old enough, you could send her little cards or pictures to colour in, anything like that she will enjoy, and it will keep a line of communication open to you both until you are able to have proper contact again.
MY daughter is 1 year 3 month so she is a little young for telephone contact and my ex is the type of person to throw gifts in the bin . I personally think that this is gong back to court but not being able to afford reprecentation and not knowing the legal system to well im nervous and knowing i will be coming up against a public funded council makes me more worried i will mess up in court, would you or any friends be able to recomend any sites to help me propare myself.
...I can understand your nervousness but you dont really need to know the legal system, there are many Dads that represent themselves. If you really dont think you can cope, you might like to think about getting a McKenzie Friend. This is someone that will help you with the paperwork and attend court with you, although they wont speak for you or tell you what to do, they are there as support and for advice. They usually have a grounding in law or plenty of experience of the court process. If you are near London or Manchester there is a charity that you can contact called the PSU, this stands for Personal Support Unit and is there to help people who have no legal representation. Its volunteers are barristers and the like, so have plenty of knowledge! Unfortunately they are only based in London and Manchester, but if that applies to you then I would contact them for more information. Heres the link
London ~ www.thepsu.co.uk
Manchester ~ www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/HMCSCourtFinder/Search.do?court_id=750
Alternatively you can contact the CAB, some of the offices have lists of volunteer McKenzie Friends, and they may be able to help you find one.
There are both volunteer McKenzie Friends that are free of charge and there are some that offer their services for a small fee. If you are approached by private McKenzie Friends, do your homework on them, ask for references that you can make contact with.
Good luck with everything and keep in touch 🙂
PS.....As far as recommendations go, you already know a very good site....This one!
Thank you, ur help has spurd me on to look around the site more and i have found giuids to reprecenting urself and about the forms i will need to fill in aswell as broken down step by steps.
I shall keep posting thoughout my case.
Thank you once again Jane
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.