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To cut a very long story short, I have held a residency order for my daughter for the last 4 years and my Ex obtained a contact order for alternate weekends/half holidays in June this year. As my Ex has no transport and lives 28 miles away she had included in the order that I drop and collect our daughter in return for agreed costs.
The costs have as yet never been recieved. In addition last weekend whilst collecting my daughter my Ex completely lost control and attacked me (in front of our daughter). I managed to fend off her blows whilst carrying my daughter (5 yrs) from her appartment and left driving directly home nursing a badly scratched and bleeding cheek.
The following morning at 5am I was awoken by 2 police officers hammering on the door to arrest me followed by another two from the neighbouring county at 8am. I refused to accompany both and as they didn't fancy taking my daughter and my twelve year old and slightly stinky black lab down the nick with them.I agreed to go along later.Where I was charged with assult.
After 3 hours in a cell following production of my file of past police involvement by my brief, I was opologeticaly let go with no further action pending.(Why oh why will they not do her for waisting police time???)
My problem (apart from having a phsyco Ex) is what will happen when I don't take my daughter for contact this weekend?? Should I be proactive and apply to the court for an ammendment to the contact order?? Or will the court decide that under the circumstances it is ok for me to have broken the order.
My Ex. recieves legal aid and will take the matter up with court, I do not and am about bankrupt from past legal bills. A C2 to return the matter to court will cost me £80. Will it be looked badly upon if I just wait for the impending call to the judges chamber? I'm quite good at defending myself in court but I've never brought about legal proceedings myself.
Harry.
My thoughts are that you should be pro-active in this - if you don't take your daughter for contact, then you are in breach of the court order (courts don't take too kindly to this, so you would start at a disadvantage), whereas if you start going back to court, then you could reasonably say that you are suspending contact pending the court hearing. I would also include your ex's breach of contact order (not paying costs) in your action. I would also consider that, since your ex is violent, that all contact should be supervised (contact centre is ideal) and locally to you - 28 miles isn't impossible to travel, it just may be inconvenient (my ex has a 400 mile round trip for contact - she did try to get contact nearer to her, but Cafcass and the judge were having none of that).
I'm sure the Children's Legal Centre will post on here, but due to the urgency (contact this weekend), it may be worth giving them a ring and getting things in motion before the weekend.
Is it possible to get an explanation from the police as to why they dropped the action against you - may help to counter any accusations your ex makes against you in court, and to shed more light on her personality.
Harry,
That sounds like a awful situation to be in. As you are due to take your daughter over this weekend this is quite an urgent enquiry and i have asked the CLC to try to respond today. This sounds like you would be putting yourself at risk of physical harm by going there - I feel for you. Keep popping back to look for the CLC's response.
Hang in there.
Gooner
Dear Harry,
As there is a court order in place, you are legally bound to do whatever is contained within that order. However, if you no longer feel that it is appropriate to do this, then it is advisable that you apply back to the court.
It would be looked upon more favourable if you made this application to court yourself, rather than waiting for your ex partner to take the matter back to court, as that would indicate that you are breaching the order, which the court do not look favourably on, and puts you at a disadvantage before you are able to give your reasons for this.
You are able to explain to the court the reasons why you feel that this contact is no longer appropriate and also that this attack took place in front of your daughter. The court may view this as a suitable argument for an alteration to what is in the order.
If you are able to gain any evidence regarding this attack, for example a police statement or medical records, this would also strengthen your argument.
You can also explain that the mother has breached the order by not providing you with travel costs as was stated in the order.
It is always best to apply back to the court if you plan to breach an order that is in place, as this reduces your chances of being penalised because of this. You would also have a good argument as to why you taking and collecting your daughter is no longer suitable.
You may also wish to write to the mother, or her solicitor, and explain that following her actions at the last contact you are referring this matter back to court and no further contact will be given until after the matter is heard.
We would suggest that you make this application immediately, before the date that the contact is scheduled to take place if possible.
We hope this information is useful to you, should you require further advice please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help.
Kind Regards
Children’s Legal Centre
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