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I'm writing on behalf of my brother who is at his wits end.
He was with his ex for about a 6 months when she got pregnant with twins. Our family had only met her briefly but as he was so happy we didn't question anything. My brother was over the moon and very excited for the arrival as he'd always wanted to be a dad. She broke up with him about 3 months before they were born, wouldn't allow him to the birth but did let him see them the next day. He was told to leave when he failed at his first attempt at putting on a nappy. She also told him she wasn't going to put him on the birth certificate as she wanted to "see him prove himself as a dad" and that she might consider putting him on it at a later date.
When visits were promised she would make up a reason why he didn't deserve to see them. Eventually my brother went to mediation over visitation rights but it was all very one sided. She only offered an hour visit every 2 weeks at a contact centre. Neither parties could afford to continue to argue so they came to a mutual agreement. This lasted maybe a couple of weeks before she found herself a new boyfriend and once again cut all contact with the children aside from sending him awful texts. She was emotionally abusive throughout the ordeal and completely broke him.
She had always been adamant that she didn't want child support as he wasn't the dad "in her eyes" but soon enough CSA were demanding £100 per week from his wages. He can now hardly afford to pay his rent, cannot cancel CSA payments for fear of legal action and cannot go forward with his own legal action because he doesn't know where she now lives to serve her papers. She also never did put him on the birth certificate so in the eyes of the law he isn't the day, but in the eyes of CSA he is. How can this be? Where is the justice for my brother? He is a good, loving man and is happy to financially support his children but he WANTS to be there, he wants to be their dad.
She has kids from a prior relationship that seems to be the same situation. My brother is desperate to see his children but it seems there is no way. Citizens advice, helplines, etc all come to the same conclusion. What can he do????
Hi there
What a sad and distressing situation for you all, hopefully we can help point you in the right direction so that you can help your brother.
The first step is to locate her and the children and you can do this by applying for a Seek and Find Order, which is form C4. On this form you'll be asked for any information that will help find her... your brother may know a family member such as her parents, or a sibling. He may know what bank she uses, or the fact that she is claiming child benefit for the children.
I think you can submit an application for a Child Arrangements Order at the same time as the C4 application, but I'll need to confirm that. Alternatively you could get confirmation from the Coram Child Adviceline. They're pretty busy so you'll need a little patience to get through to them!
Unfortunately there's not a lot he can do to change his CSA payments, if that's the amount they have calculated...with 2 children it's approximately 16% of gross income. Here's a link to the CSA calculator where he can check
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
Your brother may also benefit from attending a Families Need Fathers meeting, they hold meetings nationally, here's a link to their website where you'll find details of meetings near you.
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
He will get direct advice and support and get to meet others in a similar situation.
Best of luck and if you have any further questions please dont hesitate to ask.
Here's a link to Corams Law Adviceline
http://childlawadvice.org.uk/clas/contact-child-law-advice/
I'm also going to move your post over to the Legal Eagle section, as this is more of a legal matter and you may get more response there...it's our busiest section!
hi .
my ex disappeared with my son and most solicitors were telling me that no adress means you cant serve papers
but as the mods have said you can find address
when you submit the c100 form you can fill in the application for an order for disclosure of a childs whereabouts aswell (c4)
detail as much info on it as possible the childrens names,/dob, her name d.o.b , etc any specific info such as her national insurance number.
when i made my application i stated that the department of work and pensions know where she is as i had rang them to inform them of change of circumstance but they told me she had already done it. hence confirmation that there records were up to date.
she will no doubt be claiming at least child benefit so the DWP are a good bet
The court will order DWP to immediately disclose the address to the court for service.
You will also need to apply to get his name on the birth certificate i,e parental responsibility.
Hi, yes, you can submit a C100 with a C4 - best of luck
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