[Solved] moving kids away for long periods

Hi There,
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I'm sure that others will be able to give you more specifics on this, but I would have thought that you could address this through the courts, as even a resident parent needs to ask permision before removing the children from the country for more than a month at a time. I know even 1 month wouldn't be great but if you can get something tied down you will know where you stand.
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GTTS

My understanding is you have no documented custody? If that's the case, she has the right to take them away for as long and often as possible unless you make an urgent PSO application

halfoyster, thats my worry here, I am set to be the primary carer with discussions on custody etc, but we are at the early stages of the divorce and things are still a long way from finalised.

There has been a lot of strange concessions from her over the last few weeks which have left me wondering what her game plan here is as just about everything that has been agreed is in my favour or strengthens my position, and the more that this goes on the more I feel that she is just paying me lip service and has something else planned, and tied in with a few things I've seen her doing, like renewing the kids passports..(why as there are no plans for a holiday or anything until next year at the earliest), or suddenly taking french lessons and quite a few other things, makes me worry about where she might be taking all of this.

Her new fella is a Solicitor, and with her legal training (LPC specialising in Family Law) there is a fair chance they know how to play the game and it worries me.

According to his company profile he runs a small legal firm in the South of France and lives there for several month a year, as well as being a major player in a firm over here that she currently works for, and I am wondering if some of those "several months a year" are about to arrive. How she will get around schooling for the kids etc is something I cant figure out, but I'm guessing there are enough English speaking ex-pat type schools all through Europe now that this might not be a big problem...

I might be just jumping at shadows here, but she has lied to me repeatedly throughout this process, and I really just dont know how to react to all of this.

This has emotionally been the hardest thing I have ever gone through without a doubt, and the thought of her running off with the kids just mortifies me.

I agree that he almost certainly knows how to play the game, but with this comes the possibility that he also knows how it should be played fairly. By all means be very wary, but be alive to the possibility that it could actually go better and that he's giving her proper advice rather than going for the jugular.

If you are using a solicitor, I would speak to them about this. If you are unrepresented I would speak to Coram Childrens Legal Centre for some advice.

I'm not an expert on resolving contact at the divorce stage but if you were making a normal contact application, I would advise adding in a Prohibited Steps Order application to prevent the mother moving abroad with them on the basis her new partner lives away for a good portion of the year etc. Get some definite advice and if possible raise this with the mother to see if you can get any further information or reassurances.

Here's a government link to explain about taking children abroad.... As there is no court order in place that states who the children live with, then she would need your permission to take them out of the country for any length of time, to do so without your permission is child abduction.

https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

If you are at all concerned I would do as Yoda suggests and talk to your solicitor if you have one. I don't think you could add a Prohibited Steps Order to the divorce petition but you could do it separately.

Thanks All, meeting solicitor tomorrow, will do some research on the PSO and thanks for the link some good reading will keep you posted on what the solicitor says...

Hello Rizzy,
Your post reads as though you are trying to sort everything, (the divorce and child/ren contact) under the same umbrella i.e. through divorce proceedings. Aren't they two separate issues which both need to be dealt with separately?

If there is no Court Order with regard to contact with the child/ren doesn't this leave you at the mercy of your Ex whom you say, quote "starts screeching and won't listen ---" to you when you want to discuss matters? Wouldn't a Court Order resolve the issue of the child/ren?

Hi Mother, this is my problem, i cant afford a solicitor full time, so i am trying to work through everything my self and use solicitor for occassional guidance. I'm really unsure of proceedings, pretty much at the start of my divorce, and am learning as i go along. my wife(trainee solicitor) is well versed in family law and her new fella is a solicitor and i often feel they are just playing with me and i am always in reactive mode never knowing what she is going to come out with next......her favorite thing is to come in from work ( weare both still in same house) throw some comment/demand at me for something new and walk off, leaving me to wonder what she is after now...

at the moment i am waiting for next court date so am in a little bit of limbo, so trying to get advice where i can whilst keeping costs low but when things like this come up i'm torn between is this just more of the game from her to see how i'll react,or is it a real threat and i risk not seeing my kids for months at a time

hopefully solicitor will point me in the right direction...